There was a person inside, who needed help from the police, but the police changed their number, so he ordered a party with pizzas from 2 airplanes, but the pilots were stupid so they put in people instead of pizzas, and one landed on the 93rd floor, and the 94th floor, literally.
One day there was a frantic call at the fire department:
"Help me, help me! There is a cat meowing nearby. It is going to hurt me, it's going to kill me, can you help me, and send the fire squad right away?"
"Take it easy, cats donāt hurt us, just relax and wait until he leaves."
"You donāt understand it is going to bite me, it is going to kill me, it is going to be fatal!"
"Cats arenāt venomous or in any other way dangerous, now who is calling?"
"Iām Indy's parrot you twit! Now help me! please help, please help!"
A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning church and the Priest says "what about the children" the rabbi says "fuck the children" and the Priest says "do you think we'll have time
A white dad,a priest and a rhabi all run out a burning school and the dad says āwhat about the kidsā and the rhabi replyās to him saying āfuck the kidsā and the priest says āthink we got enough timeā
Someone in London is stabbed every two minutes. Poor guy.
my dad died in 911
but he was the pilot
What did the police say on the tv during 9/11... Call 911
2 hunter are walking in the forest together. Hunter #2 flops down, unconscious, and and hunter #1 dials 911. Operator: "911 what's your emergency?" Hunter no. 1: "The other hunter, hunting with me in the woods fell asleep." Operator: "Check if he's / she's (not assuming genders) dead." *Operator hears a distant gunshot* Hunter no. 1: "What do I do next?"
Yesterday a 5-year-old dyslexic boy almost saved his mother from drowning, but he kept dialing 119...
I intern at an orphanage that burned down this weekend with 30 kids inside. Thankfully I donāt have to call and tell their parents.
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesnāt seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, āMy friend is dead! What can I do?ā. The operator says āCalm down. I can help. First, letās make sure heās dead.ā There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says āOK, now what?ā
one day I saw my friend in a hospital bed. He told me to call 911. Instead I called his parents.
Why was 911 anoyed at the pizza guy.
Because the ordered meatlovers but they got plane
It was September 10, 2001 when I stayed up watching TV shows. I woke up late to work at The World Trade Center. But it was burning. I said out loud, " I was late! I'm happy I was late to work! I mean.. I could've di-" I was then beaten and bruised by the emergency services.
Paralyzed Man: * gets up * Iām out of here
Blind Man : Did that paralyzed man just get up
Deaf Man : did that Blind Man see that paralyzed man get up
Mute Man: did that deaf man just hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up
Dead Man: did that mute man just say did that deaf man just hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up
āNormalā Man: Did that dead man hear the mute man say didt that deaf man hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up
Doctor: * calls 911*
911 service: 911 whatās your emergency
Doctor: yes uh, a ānormalā person just said taht did that dead man just hear a mute man say did that deaf man just hear the blind man see a paralyzed man get up
911 service: * hangs up*
Iām bouta tell you the funniest joke I heard:
Two hunters are in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesnāt seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and called emergency services. The operator them hears the problem and says ā Well, letās make sure heās deadā A shot is them heard. The other guy saysā Ok, now what?ā
Did u laugh?
