Outside Jokes

You’re so fat; if you go outside now, you’d be arrested for breaking social distancing guidelines.

(only Ninjago fans understand XD) if you look outside, and its really windy, its really cloudy, and the sky looks greenish... you better run, cause it has to be Morro! XD

I saw a pretty girl walking outside. I asked for her number. We met up and began to have sex. She told me to turn over which was weird. I felt a stinging pain in my ass all of a sudden

A Person that puts a RickRoll in a book is actually the hero we all needed...

Never has a man influenced physics so profoundly as Niels Bohr in the early 1900's.
Going back to this time period, little was known about atomic structure; Bohr set out
to end the obscurity of physics. However things didn't come easy for Bohr. He had to
give up most of his life for physics and research of many hypothesis. But, this is why
you and I have even heard of the quantum theory and atomic structures. Bohr came
up with his quantum theory while studying at Cambridge. Bohr was a skeptic and he
never truly believed in Max Planck's old quantum theory. He put forth the idea that,
going from one high-energy orbit o a lower one, an electron could, in fact, be trying
to emit a quantum of discrete energy. Bohr was criticized for this idea, but he didn't
let up. Soon after, Bohr said his famed quote,"If quantum mechanics hasn't shocked
you, you haven't understood it yet." This quote is extremely famous and has gone
down as the motto for quantum physicist around the world. Understandably, Bohr
never won a Nobel prize outside of physics (of which he only won one). Bohr's still
going strong with his theories on atomic structure; he allowed for 100's of scientists
to fully experiment with the cell and its many components. Bohr was largely on the
run from the Nazi's when he came up with this discovery, which is amazing because
around this time, Bohr's home country of Denmark was invaded by the Nazi's. Bohr
and Ernest Rutherford are given credit, but it is believed that Rutherford decided to
desert Bohr in the middle of their work. Rutherford once, quite famously said that
you should never bet against the wonders of science. Niels Bohr's famous career
never really kicked off until he was forty years old. Most other major scientists were
going all over the world with their ideas by their early twenties. However, in order
to preserve the legacy of Niels Bohr, he has his own institution, whose goal is to
make many more great strides in the field of physics for years. How did Bohr affect
you and me? Without Niels Bohrs' more advanced atomic theory, we might as well
cry over how little we know of the atoms and their compounds. Physics would have
never been such a force in the todays society. However, to this day, research is still
going on to improve and update the atomic theory. Although scientists clearly want
to improve on Bohr's theory, many famous physicists come out publicly and openly
say that Bohr's ideas will never be improved upon, todays society cannot say
goodbye to an opportunity to improve our understanding of the sciences. If Bohr
never had silenced his critics, we would still be following Planck's theories, and
going on incomplete information. Bohr's later life was all occupied when he decided
to go back to Denmark and head the Royal Danish Academy. His main goal was to
tell the world of the of the greatness of the Danish Sciences and most likely educate
a new crop of scientists for years to come. There is controversy surrounding Bohr's
lie during his stint in the Manhattan project. Though he claimed to be anti-violence
and a peace-seeker, Bohr engineered on the Manhattan Project. Though he didn't
hurt anyone directly, thousands of people died. Neils Bohr opened many doors for
you and I in the physics world, he will go down as one of the greatest physicists.

Bill gets home from work late again, and Susan is angry. She hollars at Bill, "I AM FURIOUS. WHEN I GO OUTSIDE TOMORROW THERE BETTER BE SOMETHING THAT GOES FROM 0 to 200 IN 6 SECONDS". Bill Says, "Ok". The next morning there is a box outside! Susan opens it..It's a scale! Bill hasn't been seen since October 2, 2002.

Girl playing outside: step on a line and you break your mommy's spine She then steps on a line and her mother keels over screaming

Girl playing outside :step on a crack and you break daddy's back She steps on a crack the mailman next door then keels over screaming

The husband starts celebrating gets in the car and starts to drive away

The son comes outside and steps on a crack

The dad then dies in a car crash

Yo mama's so poor I knocked on her front door of her house and realised I was already outside her backyard!

Where has God existed outside of a man's awareness of him?

Yo mama's so stupid when they said it was chilly outside, she grabbed a bowl

Yo mama so ugly that when she watched The Outsiders they became The Insiders.

Yo mama is so retarded they tell her it was gonna be chilly outside she went and got a bowl

Jake: can I go outside Mom: did you clean your room Jake: No Mom: Then f*ck no Jake: alright bet (Brother named no)

Yo momma so dumb when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon.

What's hard and hairy on the outside and soft and wet on the inside. Coconut, what were you thinking of?

There was once a small earthquake, but when I got outside, I realized my brother was still stuck inside. When I told my mom, she just said, "It doesn't matter, your my favorite anyway!"

That's the last time we park the tardis outside the portaloos at Glastonbury

why did the orphan go outside the school A: cause it was take your parents to school day

What's the most embarrassing thing about locking your keys in the care outside a pregnancy care center? A. Having to go inside and ask for a coathanger.

Yo mama so strict that in The Outsiders she was Darry.

Your mama smells so bad. Everytime she goes outside. She gets ticketed for pollution. She's so ugly everytime she looks out a window she gets arrested for mooning.