Do gay midgets come out of the cabinet?
My mom said, "Take out the trash," and I said, "Okay." The next day she asked, "Where is your sister?" and I said, "In line to get crushed."
How do you get an emo out of a tree?
Cut the rope.
How many times does 43 go into 8?
Get in the van and find out.
What do five dicks sticking out of glory holes and five udders both have in common? They are ready for milking.
There's a movie about constipation. It hasn't come out yet.
So, I went out to eat the other day, and the waitress came up to me and asked if I wanted a glass of water. I said, "Yes ma'am." She said, "Oh honey, you don't have to call me ma'am, I'm not that old." I said, "Okay, thanks bitch."
I was out for dinner with my 19 year old girlfriend. I, being 42, had many people shouting at me, scolding me, calling me a creep. It really ruined our 10th anniversary.
Yo mamma so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," he was just asking her to get out the way.
What’s the difference between a bullet and a Jew?
One comes out of the chamber.
A man walks to the window and opens it and pulls out his phone and takes a photo. "One more picture and I'll jump." He takes another photo and shuts the window. "I can't jump, you're not supposed to throw trash out the window."
What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?
The fridge don't fart when you take your meat out.
Today I was asked to go out by 20 girls. -- I was in the women's bathroom.
My wife told me I was immature. I just told her to get out of my pillow fort.
I've never worn my gay sweater, it hasn't come out of the closet yet.
A young boy enters a barber shop, and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream parlor.
"Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"
The boy licked his cone and replied:
"Because the day I take the dollar the game is over!"
What’s the similarity between a bag of chips and a gun?
When you pull one out in class, everybody wants to be your friend.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. When I'm taking out the trash, I remember you.
Why are gay people bad at hide and seek?
Because they're always coming out of the closet.
Women are like the Twin Towers. After you smash them, and if some little people start jumping out, the government is gonna tax the shit outta you.
