Otherness jokes
I had a glass of Schweppes lemonade in one hand and a glass of R. Whites in the other. I got into a hot sweat. I think I have Corona Virus.
What did one Koala say to the other?
"Help me I'm burning. Aaaugh!!! Oh fuck oh fuck I'm on fire!! AAAAaugh!"
My cat sleeps about 20 hours a day. She has her food prepared for her. She can eat whenever she wants, 24/7/365. Her meals are provided at no cost to her. She visits the doctor once a year for her checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this she pays nothing, and nothing is required of her.
She lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than she needs, but she is not required to do any upkeep. If she makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. She has her choice of luxurious places to sleep. She receives these accommodations absolutely free. She is living like a queen, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of her costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.
I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head, Holy Sh*t, my cat is a Democrat!
I wish everyone spoke to each other the way God did.
So what is the difference between a real doctor and a doctor of philosophy?
One cures the sick and the other makes them sick!
Why did the chicken commit suicide?
To get to the other side.
Why did the orphan cross the street? Because they thought that mommy and daddy was on the other side.
I don't get why people don't like my abortion jokes. Do they have a stick up their ass? Wait, that's the other hole.
What did one male whale say to the other male whale?
"She's gonna blow!"
What did one cat say to the other? Happy "meow"!
What did one nut say to the other nut? "Help!"
Why did the fish cross the sea?
To get to the other tide! 😂 😂 😂
Two people just met. One said, “We should do some bonding.” The other nodded and said back, “Titanic.” The first just looked confused so the second one just said, “Sorry, thought that would be a good icebreaker.”
Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
To get to the other side (suicide).
Why did the second hedgehog cross the road?
To see his flatmate.
What did the bee say to the other bee?
Moo.
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One screams when you put it in a blender, and the other one is a cooperative little fruit.
What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?
One is hairy and smells like fish, and the other is a walrus. You're welcome.
What did the egg who was sun bathing say to the other egg? Don't look at my crack!
What do you call the bear that pushes all the other bears into the pool?
The dry bear.
My bird. PRETTY BIRD! PRETTY BIRD!
Others CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP!