Otherness jokes
Why does the orange đ beat the other fruits đ in every race?
Because it never runs out of juice.
How did the chicken get to the other side? He crossed the road and didn't make it.
Why does the orphan commit suicide to join the other side to see their parents?
Q. What did one Iron atom say to the other Iron atom?
A. "We're in the Matrix."
Two atoms were walking on a street. One atom said to the other: "I'm feeling really positive today," and the other replied: "I know. I stole your electron." Then the first atom said "How Ionic."
One day a computer said to another computer, "Why are you so dumb?"
The other computer replied, "Because I have low memory."
What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bathtub?
One's got hope in her soul, the other's got soap in her hole.
New civil war themed porn title: âHarriet Tubman gets hit with something other than an iron ingot.â
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to the Super Bowl game.
They had great seats right behind their team's bench.
After the game, the guy asked his girlfriend how she liked the experience.
"Oh, I really liked it!" she replied, "Especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I couldnât understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, "What do you mean?"
She said, "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!' Iâm like, hellooooo! Itâs only 25 cents!"
Q: How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
A: He gave her a ring.
Q: Whatâs the most popular video game at the bread bakery?
A: Knead for Speed.
Q: Why is Santa good at karate?
A: He has a black belt.
Q: Where do werewolves buy Christmas gifts?
A: Beast Buy.
Q: What did the snowflake say to the road?
A: Letâs stick together.
Q: Why did the turkey join a band?
A: So he could use his drumsticks.
Q: Whatâs a math teacherâs favorite winter sport?
A: Figure skating.
Q: Where do werewolves buy Christmas gifts?
A: Beast Buy.
Q: What did the snowflake say to the road?
A: Letâs stick together.
Q: Why did the turkey join a band?
A: So he could use his drumsticks.
Q: Whatâs a math teacherâs favorite winter sport?
A: Figure skating.
Q: Whatâs a fireflyâs favorite dance?
A: The glitterbug.
Q: Why are eyeshadow, lipstick, and mascara never mad at each other?
A: Because they always make-up.
Q: Where do roses sleep at night?
A: In their flowerbed.
Q: Why was the shoe bad at gymnastics?
A: She was a flip-flop.
Q: What should you wear to a tea party?
A: A t-shirt.
Q: Whatâs rainâs favorite accessory?
A: A rainbow.
Q: Where does a sink go dancing?
A: The Dish-co.
Q: Whatâs a princessâs favorite time?
A: Knight time.
Q: Why did the Genie get mad?
A: Because he was rubbed the wrong way.
Q: Whatâs a ballerinaâs favorite type of bread?
A: A bun.
Q: What kind of dance was the frog prince best at?
A: Hip hop.
Q: What do bunnies like to do at the mall?
A: Shop âtil they hop.
Q: How did the beauty school student do on her manicure test?
A: She nailed it.
Q: What is cornâs favorite music?
A: Pop.
Q: Why canât Monday lift Saturday?
A: Itâs a weak day.
Q: Why was the politician out of breath?
A: He was running for office.
Q: What is a soccer playerâs favorite chemical element?
A: Goooooooooooold!
Q: Why did the fastest cat in class get kicked out of school?
A: He was a cheetah.
Q: Which state has the greatest number of jokes?
A: Pennsylvania.
Q: Where is the best place to sit when a submarine is diving?
A: Inside.
Q: Why did the lawyer show up in court in his underwear?
A: He forgot his lawsuit.
Q: Why was the teenager no longer allowed online without a license?
A: He crashed the computer.
Q: Whatâs a ball that you donât throw, shoot, eat, spit, bounce, or catch?
A: An eyeball.
Q: What do turtles, eggs, and beaches all have?
A: Shells.
Q: What time of year do people get injured the most?
A: In the fall.
Q: Why did the quarterback take the hardest classes?
A: Because he knew he would pass.
Q: Why did the musician throw away her table?
A: Because it was flat.
Q: Why didnât the farmer's son study medicine?
A: Because he wanted to go into a different field.
Q: What is the math teacherâs favorite dessert?
A: Pi.
Q: Why was the princess in the emergency room?
What did the fish say to the other fish when it got hooked?
"That's what you get for not keeping your mouth shut."
I saw a sign the other day that said "Maximum penalty for smoking is ÂŁ1,000."
But that's not right. Surely the maximum penalty for smoking is Death.
Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to get to the other side.
What is the difference between the snow âď¸ and sun đ? Snow is slippery, and the other kind đ§ of weather is not slippery.
There were two guys in an asylum. One was named Kenny, and the other was Bob. The nurse went down the hall and saw Kenny acting like he was packing his bags. The nurse said, âWhat are you doin', Kenny?â Kenny said, âGoing to Florida for the week.â The nurse said, âAlright, see ya when you get back.â
Next day, the nurse went down the hall again and saw Kenny lying down acting like he was holding a wine glass. The nurse said, âWhat are you doing, Kenny?â Kenny said, âI am at the beach.â The nurse said, âOh, I forgot you're in Florida for the week, see ya when you get back.â Bob's room was across the hall. The nurse went further down the hall and saw Bob on his bed jerking off. The nurse said, âGoddamnit, Bob, what are you doing?â Bob said, âShhh, I am fucking Kenny's wife right now, he is in Florida for the week.â
How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: 1 to actually change the light bulb and the other 98 to suck each others' cocks and shit like that.
So, I went out to eat the other day, and the waitress came up to me and asked if I wanted a glass of water. I said, "Yes ma'am." She said, "Oh honey, you don't have to call me ma'am, I'm not that old." I said, "Okay, thanks bitch."
I have a problem. My dad and my girlfriend have the same birthday. So, one took my virginity, and the other is my girlfriend.
Hitler visits a lunatic asylum. The patients give the Hitler salute. As he passes down the line, he comes across a woman who isn't saluting.
"Why are you not saluting like the others?" Hitler barks.
"Mein FĂźhrer, I'm the nurse," she responds. "I'm not crazy!"
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello from the other side.