Orphanage jokes
Ahem... if somebody you don't like, or somebody random just calls you in general,
answer the phone with this:
"Hello, thank you for choosing Mama's Pizzeria/Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce, how may I help you?"
or
"Hello, this is David's Orphanage, you make them, we take them, how may I help you?"
Some people's reactions are priceless, and then they wonder about your mental health.
An orphanage got robbed yesterday. Let's just say that's the second worst thing to happen to those orphans. At least they didn't end up like their parents.
Did you know that if you go into an orphanage and tell them a "yo mama" joke, they won’t get it?
Some kid: Hey, did you know there's an orphanage down the street?!
Me: NO WAY! Wanna check it out?
Kid: NO, IT'S HAUNTED!!
Me: Haunted my ass, let's go!
Kid: Wait, isn't your house also haunted???
Me: Yea
Who is not allowed to watch PG movies?
Orphans.
I saw a little kid crying today. I asked where his parents were, and he started to cry more. I left the orphanage to get some milk after that.
Why do orphans play GTA?
To be wanted.
Why do orphanages give out free phones?
So you can press the home button.
I saw a kid crying in the corner of the room and I said, "Are you OK? Where are your parents?" and he started crying even more.
I love working in an orphanage.
If orphans made phones, it wouldn't have a home button.
My name is what orphans can never have.
"Bill swift here, you make them, we take them!"
In my locality, there was an orphanage but everybody in the locality was really sexist too, so they had to change the orphanage into a brothel 'cause everybody took the boys away and nobody was taking the girls and the manager didn't want to waste any 14-year-old pussy, did he?
Why can't orphans celebrate Christmas?
Father Christmas left them.
Why can't orphans eat Doritos? Because it's family size.
Why can't orphans never run all the bases in baseball? Because they can never make it home.
What kind of cake can an orphan not have?
Homemade.
Knock knock. Who is there?
I don't know.
A girl and dog get dropped off at an orphanage. Why was she crying before she went in? Because the people came back for their dog!
My friend: You're ugly.
The orphanage: That's what I said to all my children.
Stranger: Knock knock.
Orphan: Who's there?
Stranger: Not your parents.