Newest Order Jokes - Page 6 - Worst Jokes Ever

A collection of 911 jokes.

What kinda pizza did they order at 911?

Plane.

What was the colour of 911?

Plane.

What is the fasted way to see 911?

Plane.

Yo mama so fat when she ordered a water bed they gave her the pacific ocean.

you say this to your friend damn your nuts are bigger then mine* thinks the wrong way* friend: i must order more nuts

A woman has been raped by a man, she calls the police and a policeman shows up - Woman: Please help officer I have been raped! Officer: No problem ma'am, I will just unrape you Woman: Whhat? Unrape me? How?

Officer proceeds to bring back the rapist and forces the woman to rape the rapist back in order to cancel out the initial rape

Waiter: can I have your order? Me: no it’s mine!

When the two tower ordered pizza all they got was plane

A lady walked into a bar and ordered their special drink, the bartender then gave her a brown glass full of milk, the lady complained about this but then the bartender said, "just shut up and swallow"

Why do orphans always ask Alexa to order milk? Because their dad never brung it home

what flavour of pizza did the twin towers order.... Plane

Stressed Out-By- Twenty One Pilots and watersharky Music Productions-I wish I found some better sounds No one's ever heard I wish I had a better voice That sang some better words I wish I found some chords In an order that is new I wish I didn't have to rhyme Every time I sang I was told when I get older All my fears would shrink But now I'm insecure And I care what people think My name's Blurryface and I care what you think My name's Blurryface and I care what you think Wish we could turn back time To the good old days When our momma sang us to sleep But now we're stressed out Wish we could turn back time To the good old days When our momma sang us to sleep But now we're stressed out We're stressed out Sometimes a certain smell will Take me back to when I was young How come I'm never able to identify Where it's coming from? I'd make a candle out of it If I ever found it Try to sell it, never sell out of it I'd probably only sell one It'd be to my brother, cause we have the same nose Same clothes, home grown The stone's throw from a creek we used to roam But it would remind us of when Nothing really mattered Out of student loans and tree house homes We all would take the latter My name's Blurryface and I care what you think My name's Blurryface and I care what you think Wish we could turn back time To the good old days When our momma sang us to sleep But now we're stressed out Wish we could turn back time To the good old days When our momma sang us to sleep But now we're stressed out Used to play pretend Give each other different names We would build a rocket ship and then we'd fly it far away Used to dream of outer space But now they're laughing at our face singing "Wake up, you need to make money", yeah Used to play pretend Give each other different names We would build a rocket ship And then we'd fly it far away Used to dream of outer space But now they're laughing at our face singing "Wake up, you need to make money", yeah Wish we could turn back time To the good old days When our momma sang us to sleep But now we're stressed out Wish we could turn back time To the good old days When our momma sang us to sleep But now we're stressed out We used to play pretend, used to play pretend, money We used to play pretend, wake up you need the money Used to play pretend, used to play pretend, money We used to play pretend, wake up you need the money Used to play pretend Give each other different names We would build a rocket ship And then we'd fly it far away Used to dream of outer space But now they're laughing at our face saying "Wake up, you need to make money", yeah

The Twin towers ordered dominos what did they get instead

Just before Lockdown began, a woman took her 15 yr old son Tom, and 14, 16 and 18 yr old daughters Sally, Mary, and Annie and went to the family cabin in the mountains to wait it out, while her husband stayed in town as an essential worker.

The weekly family zoom call went well enough...until the 8th week when the father noticed the 14 year old was looking a little...plump. By the 20th week the 16 year old’s shirt was starting to pull taut over her tummy, by the 25th the curve of the 18 yr old’s belly was rising over the edge of the table her laptop was perched on, and by the 30th week his wife and all 3 girls were very obviously 6 months pregnant, and the poor 14 year old was so huge she was obviously having triplets.

So the father waited until he’d talked to his son and daughters, and asked if he could talk to his wife alone.

“Look, I know you and the girls are all pregnant. I’m not mad, I just want to know how it happened. We don’t have any neighbors up at the cabin, did you break quarantine and invite some hikers in, or go into town for supplies?”

She started crying. "No, Tommy's the father! I'm so sorry, I never meant for it to happen, but it's been so lonely here without you....I walked in on him jerking off and just couldn't help myself! And Annie's been missing her boyfriend at college, and it....it just sort of got out of hand."

"It's okay sweetheart, I forgive you. You've been isolated for months, up there."

She wiped her tears away. "I can't believe how understanding you're being about this. When we get home I'm making you the best steak and lobster you ever had! I know you aren't eating well, I was looking at the bills on Amazon Prime and saw you ordered a 45 pound pail of peanut butter!"

He looked down under the camera line, under his desk. He wasn't wearing pants and the family dog was still licking his dick. "These things happen."

Why were the twon towers mad? Because they ordered three peperoni pizzas and one came plane, the ither came late, and the lther one went to the wrong address.

abortion is not a murder is just canceling you pre order

My dad has the heart of a soldier, and a restraining order from the soldier's family.

Hi guys, so today I am going to do another blog. It's just for fun, and yeah. Enjoy! So, this morning, when I woke up, I heard that I was getting new grips, I was so excited. (Incase you guys don't know what grips are, they are sort of like gloves that go on your hands and they are for gymnastics bars.) I was excited because my old grips don't fit me anymore and my coach was like "Oh I can get you some new ones since we have a meet in a week." And so I was like "Oh that's fine. My parents ordered me some. Thank you though." And she was like "Okay that's fine. Just make sure you have them by next week" So long story short, I have new grips now.

A group of Astronauts, a Mechanic, a Pilot & a Communications operator are on a very important mission to Mars when one of their solar panels gets grazed by a meteorite. And so the Astronauts quickly assemble in the hull to the they get orders from the ground. Once the Communications operator turned on coms, their man on the ground told the Pilot to continue their course & to send the Mechanic out to fix the problem. As the Mechanic worked on finishing repairing the solar panel, the Pilot & Communications operator told each other dark jokes when out of nowhere a meteorite field appeared! The Ground operator frighteningly shouted "Get him back in the ship!" to the Communications operator. "Chill out, he'll be fine." The Pilot assured him. "Get him the hell out of there, that's an order!" The Ground operator argued. Then thirty seconds later the Communications operator came back from the air shoot & asked "Now what?"

A man and his friend walk into a bar on a 30 storey building and order a drink of beer, then one of the men jumps out the window and he can fly so he says to his mate "Gary, take a sip of this drink it makes you fly!" so Gary takes a sip of the drink, jumps out the window and dies, and the bartender says "gee, superman your a doosh when you drink"

Prank phone calls. I did this prank last week, I picked the not so big buisness and places to do pranks phone calls. Burger King. Jcpennys. and nighbors. I will tell you what I said. Me: "Hello this is...Zariana and I am from New York." Burger king staff: "Will we work in Florida." Me: "Good now I want a large cake with some salad...with some eggnog...and some baby food" Burger king: "We don't serve any of that ma'am." Me: "And I want it to go please!" Burger king staff: "Sorry ma'am we don't ha- " And I hung up on him right before he could say have. Now JCPenneys ordering. Me: "Hello this is Trina from south carolina." Jcpennys register: "Yes what can I don for you ma'am ?" Me: "Excuse me"? Jcpennys register: "I was asking if there is anything you need help with ma'am." Me: "Sorry I can't hear you...what!" Jcpennys register: "WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO ORDER MA'AM." Me: "I still can't hear you! Say that again!!!" Jcpennys register: "Ma'am can you hear correclty?" Me: "YES I CAN...NOW YOUR GOING TO BODY SHAME THEN I WILL GIVE YOU A 1 STAR RATTING!!!!!!" Jcpennys register: "No ma'am I was just saying tha-" Hung up. Next one was on my nigbores. Mrs. Jarkinson. Me: "Hello, sorry to bother you but do you know what this word mean fhermkrekm"? Mrs. Jarkinson: "What who is this?" Me: "Ummm...Mrs. Keris!" Mrs. Jarkinson: " So what does what word mean again?'' Me: " fnjfnjrfnjr!" Mrs. Jarkinson: "What!!!" Me: "fnjefnj" Mrs. Jarkinson: SO SORRY WHAT!!!!!!! Me: "Never mind!" Hehehe! Hung up on here now Mr. Morris. Me: "Hola Sr. Morris. que pasa" Mr. Morris: "Sorry what I don't speake spanish!" Me: "Está bien ... di que no me hagas caso, ¡solo necesito ayuda!" Btw I used tranlater app and I learned really quickly! Mr. Morris: "What does that even mean!" Me: "Sí señor, veo dónde está su cabeza, pero ¿cómo se hace algún libro? ¿Me parece muy difícil? Jejejeje!" Mr. Morris: WHAT DOES THIS EVEN MEAN THOUGH!!! Me: "No señor, no se rinda en el primer intento de ballet! Debería ser fácil ... di de qué te quejas? Oh sorry I have to go!" Mr. Morris: "Wait but what does tha-" I bet your wondering how I got these phone calls rememberd will I recorded them! I don't how but I did. Btw Not spanish just learn really quickly.