A man and a giraffe walk into a bar, the man orders a beer one for him and one for the giraffe. After they finish their drinks the giraffe falls over and the man gets his stuff and heads for the door. The bartender says "Stop! you can't leave that thing lying on the floor" The man says "Mate, that's not a lion, it's a giraffe".
What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
Spareribs!
A priest, a rapist, a pedophile, and a homosexual walk into a bar.
He orders a drink.
I just ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. -- I'll let you know.
Chuck Norris orders his coffee black, without water.
A vampire walks into a bar and orders a cup of hot water. The bartender asks, "I thought you guys only drink blood?"
The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "I'm making tea."
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers, and says, "You guys should know your limits."
He orders a beer and a shot of whiskey.
A time traveler walks into a bar.
A Roman walks into a bar.
He holds up two fingers and says, "Give me five beers."
