OR jokes
Why do orphans play with other kids on a playground?
So they will sneak into their parents' car to be a brother or sister.
My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his grandmother's nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still wearing them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.
Say this to your significant other (or your weird friends!)
Are you an unsafe staircase? 'Cause you look like you could use a railing.
Am I a guard or a guava?
Wanna know why the plane actually crashed?
Someone turned off flight mode.
(Or a kid just turned on airplane mode.)
My friend playing truth or dare asked me: "Dare".
My friends: "I dare you to go home."
So I'm reading Hamlet, right? And then this one page they like, "Yo, like, Hamlet the fuck t tgo foff off KING speak, yo" 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 truth ong fr 😂 Face with thing is funny or... 😂 😂 😂 😂 the
Quoting the great Jimmy Carr: "When I cook, I make sure there are vegetarian options. They can make do, or they can fuck off."
If you kayak with a cap on and the kayak capsizes, whether or not the cap falls off depends on the cap size.
You're so ugly, you have trick-or-treat on the phone!
Why was the orphan so successful?
When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.
What fell first, the feather or the depressed kid?
Q: The feather, the depressed kid is still up there.
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?
Friend: Why?
Me: Because they don't have a mother or father's day.
Me: *watching TV*
Mom: Omg, no way, your dad is coming!
Me: Really?
Mom: Obviously not, he never loved or wanted you.
What is tall when it's young but short when it's old?
A candle or a pencil!
Hello, this is our fun CULT, haha, or CLUB, whatever you want!
Love you, orphan haters! :^ Nina
Girl: "When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles, and lighten your burden."
Boy: "It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles."
Girl: "Well, that's because we aren't married yet!"
In this modern age, I feel as though it's inappropriate to make jokes about herbs and fish.
It's not the thyme or the plaice for it.
You have been accused of stealing toilet rolls. How do you plead?
Guilty or not guilty?
Is it just me, or everybody has a dark side, like a psycho side, and then you act like crazy for some reason?