OR jokes

How did the orphan become famous?

By "go[ing] big or go[ing] home."

Orphans have 363 days on a calendar because they don't have Mothers' or Fathers' Day.

Why do orphans say, "Go big or go home?"

So that way they feel important.

You might think that tigers or lions are the best jumpers, but in my opinion, it's emos, because some of them are still in the air.

Am I a guard or a guava?

What fell first, the feather or the depressed kid?

Q: The feather, the depressed kid is still up there.

When the emo kid says let’s play truth or dare, You know it’s about to hang over.

I mess up goats for unicorns?

Jimmy the Unicorn or goat.

I don't even know.

Why do orphans play with other kids on a playground?

So they will sneak into their parents' car to be a brother or sister.

My friend playing truth or dare asked me: "Dare".

My friends: "I dare you to go home."

My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his grandmother's nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still wearing them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.

Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?

Friend: Why?

Me: Because they don't have a mother or father's day.

Girl: "When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles, and lighten your burden."

Boy: "It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles."

Girl: "Well, that's because we aren't married yet!"

If you kayak with a cap on and the kayak capsizes, whether or not the cap falls off depends on the cap size.

Quoting the great Jimmy Carr: "When I cook, I make sure there are vegetarian options. They can make do, or they can fuck off."

You have been accused of stealing toilet rolls. How do you plead?

Guilty or not guilty?

Hello, this is our fun CULT, haha, or CLUB, whatever you want!

Love you, orphan haters! :^ Nina

Me: *watching TV*

Mom: Omg, no way, your dad is coming!

Me: Really?

Mom: Obviously not, he never loved or wanted you.

What is tall when it's young but short when it's old?

A candle or a pencil!

Is it just me, or everybody has a dark side, like a psycho side, and then you act like crazy for some reason?