OR jokes

So, I was fucking my daughter the other day and my wife walked in... I don't know what was funnier: the look on her face, or that the abortion clinic let me keep her.

So, is a homosexual in a coma a fruit or a vegetable?

I was 11 or 12 at the time.

Guy (passing me): "How are you doing?" Me, an autist: "Pretty bad honestly." Guy (continued walking past me) Me: ...

If you didn’t know, “what’s up” and “how are you doing” are phatic expressions in the United States, meaning that they’re said as greetings even though they literally mean something else.

Should I buy COVID-19 or wait until COVID-20 comes out?

Q. Two gay guys are having sex, when suddenly the house catches fire. Who gets out of the house first, the guy on top or bottom?

A. The guy on the bottom because he already has his shit packed.

Like if your best friend is emo. *repost* or like if you have a best friend.

Three rednecks, Billy, Joe, and John, are talking about their hobbies. They agree on shooting. John says, "I like shooting animals." Joe says, "I like shooting birds." Billy says, "I like shooting cans." Joe and John ask, "What kind of cans, like bear cans, Pepsi cans, or cola cans?" Billy responds, "Africans, Mexicans, Jamaicans, and Asian Americans."

Smash or pass?

"Smash," said the iceberg.

TItanic:...

My mother really hates my dad for some reason. Maybe it was because he cheated on her, or maybe because it was her mom. Either way, it really ruined her birthday.

Follow me if you need advice, or just follow me.

I'm still not sure how I'm not in jail or have been fined for littering. When I was born, I was born in a hospital trash can, therefore making me a literal piece of trash. That being said, any time I'm out in public, I'm a piece of litter.

My teacher: If you could go anywhere, where would you go?

Me: Demon Slayer.

My teacher: Why?

The quiet kid: TO GET EATEN BY A DEMON OR BECOME ONE!!!

What is happening? Which is better: being loved or being hated? State your answer.

Can emos eat a happy meal, or is it a depressed meal?

In life, it’s either yeet or get beat, and I clearly failed yeeting as a child, as my dad beat me.

Life is like a penis. Long, free, flowing, and soft, until a woman comes and makes it hard. 😉

A black lady goes inside the drug store and asks the pharmacist, "Do you carry tampons?" Then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "Do you want the mini pads or the maxi pads?"

And then the black lady asks the pharmacist, "What is the difference?"

And then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "What is your flow like?"

And then the black lady tells the pharmacist, "Linoleum."

My autistic son hates taking baths or showers.

I don’t blame him, I don’t like soggy vegetables either.

Where are you not allowed to go trick or treating as a ghost?

Harlem, New York.

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