When I was a boy, I had a disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day in order to survive... It's a good thing my older brother told me about it.
Signs my cousin is going places when he's older: TEST QUESTION: where was the declaration of independence signed? He wrote: at the bottom of the page. Smart kid
Why didn't the kid cancer patients like his joke
He said "you'll understand when you get older"
as i grow older, i remember all the people i lost along the way. maybe tour guide wasn't the right career choice for me...
An older retired couple - the wife had grown tired of her husband farting in bed each night. One morning she put some chicken parts under the blankets in bed next to him and went off to make some coffee, A few minutes later she hears a loud fart followed by a blood curdling scream. He comes out after awhile and says, "Hon, you were right that I would fart my guts out. Took me the longest to put them back in".
Dark Jokes R Like Pupies:
Once they come out they r trash but one it starts to get older that’s when it’s noticed but when it gets to old u either proclaim it dead or never talk about it
( I would never do dat though I love pupies )
I have MP3s on my computer that are older than Johnny Depp's new significant other.
Johnny Depp once said in an interview: "I get older, my girlfriends stay the same age."
Maybe Johnny Depp's soulmate isn't born yet. We'll see in 20-25 years.
[Them]: "Don't you think you'll feel ashamed of all the suicide jokes you've made when you get older?"
[Me]: "When I what?" 0-0
As l get older I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice
Little red riding hood has to deliver food to her gramma again. She can drive now because she is sixteen. One the way, she accidentally took the wrong way and got to a different forest where her gramma lives now. She found the wrong cottage that looked liked her gramma's home. When she opened the door, she found her younger and older sisters of ages 9, 11, 18, and 22. How old is Little red riding hood?
Answer:16
The Good Old Days > You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.
A little girl was sitting with some other kids, she thought to herself, I want to have kids when Im older, at least they’ll have a home, parents, and hopefully a dad that actually came back with the milk!🤣🤣
Kid with Cancer: When I get older, I want to be a movie star or a singer.
Nure: *Laughs*
Kid: Why are you laughing?
Nurse: When I get OLDER.
Proceeds to laugh.
my friend " ya mama so stupid she sits on the tv and watches the couch" me " THAT JOKES OLDER THAN YOUR MOM "
Who is older than twin towers?billy bob the 1th,he was older than the twin towers he was born 3 minutes before the twin towers and still alive today
A Mexican bandit made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time and robbing banks in Texas. The banks offered a reward for his capture, dead or alive, but offered a much larger award for the recovery of the stolen funds. An enterprising Texas Ranger decided to track him down. After a long and difficult search, he traced the bandit to his home town. On a hunch, he checked the town's cantina, and sure enough, there was the robber. The only other people in the bar were the bartender and a scrawny, older man at a back table. The time was right to make a move. The ranger drew his revolver, charged into the cantina, and announced: "You are under arrest. I get a reward for you, dead or alive. Tell me where the money is, and I'll let you live. If you don't, I'll shoot you right here, and save myself the trouble of having to take you back to Texas alive." But the bandit didn't speak English, and the Ranger didn't speak Spanish. As it turned out, the scrawny man at the back of the bar happenedd to be a lawyer. He knew the robber, and was bilingual, and quickly offered to translate for the two of them. The ranger said: "Tell him that if he doesn't tell me where the loot is, I'll shoot him here and now." Upon hearing what the Ranger had said, and seeing the cold look in his eye, the bandit knew that the Ranger meant it - if he did not give up his loot, he was a dead man. Terrified, the bandit blurted out in Spanish that the loot was buried in an old barn at the outskirts of town. "What did he say?" asked the Ranger. The lawyer answered: "He said, 'You don't have the nerve to shoot me, Yankee swine.'"
Donald Trump was golfing with Barack Obama. The Donald said, "Listen Barack, I'm getting older and I'm having trouble sexually satisfying my young wife. I know that you black guys are supposed to be magic in bed. Can you give me a few pointers?" Barack gave Donald a few ideas and that night Donald made love to his wife. He did everything he was told. He started out slowly entering his wife gently then finished hard. Melania came quickly screaming. "Oh Donald, You fuck just like Barack Obama."
Why is the older brother's kid brother that has autism is always performing fellatio on his older brother? Because he wants to find out how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop
My older sister said she was gonna shoot herself so I did it for her
