Off jokes
Why do orphans ride the bus? Because they have no parents to drop them off.
Quoting the great Jimmy Carr: "When I cook, I make sure there are vegetarian options. They can make do, or they can fuck off."
If you kayak with a cap on and the kayak capsizes, whether or not the cap falls off depends on the cap size.
I love jumping off cliffs.
I can’t take credit for this joke; it’s not mine.
Remember that time Joe Biden fell off his bike? He said it’s not his fault. He blamed the tires for being too inflated.
Memes
Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was the chicken's day off!
What's the same with your dad and Retail Row?
They are both off the map.
What did the blanket say when he fell off the bed?
Oh sheet!
Well, we started off by ripping up ALL of the decking.
Abandon ship!
Yo mama so ugly, she made everybody's face fall off.
Velcro, what a rip-off!
The QUEEN is JACK! KING off the JOKER!
I know what you're thinking, pervert. Actually, the joke's about a jester in drag. OK, I’m joking, the Queen cheated on the King with the Jester.
Why did Shelley fall off the swing? She had no arms.
My dog got mad at me for touching his toy. He said, "Get your paws off my toy!"
"Can you tie a knot?"
"I cannot."
"So you can knot?"
"No, I cannot knot."
"Not knot?"
"Who's there?"
"F... off!"
Yeah, she called me "Pledge" because I knocked the dust off it.
The show COPS has been dropped from broadcast,
honoring the longstanding tradition of police turning off their cameras.
What's the easiest way to make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail—it'll be delighted!
How do you get a monkey off the wall?
You jerk him off!
Little Johnny is with his dad behind a garbage truck when a dildo thumps the windshield.
To protect Little Johnny's innocence, he says, "That was an insect."
Little Johnny replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"