OED jokes
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Spell.
Spell who?
W. H. O.
New BBC Geordie police drama set in Honolulu.
Haway Five O.
*WARNING* THIS WILL NEVER GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD - READ IF YOU DARE.....
What came first? The chicken or the egg?
Which came first? The color orange or the fruit?
Who taught the first ever teacher?
If you expect the unexpected, doesn't that make the unexpected expected?
If you describe something as 'indescribable', then haven't you already described it?
In the word 'scent', is the silent letter the 's' or the 'ce'?
Why do your lips touch when they say the word 'separate', but don't touch when you say the word 'together'?
How many photos do you think you could be in the background of?
The guy who discovered cow milk, what was he doing with that cow?
Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, "Oh no, it's a cop"?
Is it possible to cry underwater?
If two left handers have an argument, who is right?
I warned you!! You just didn't listen.... :O
I don't blame Amber Heard for wanting Elon Musk, especially if Johnny Depp is hairy and smells like a port-o-potty full of cigarettes and gunsmoke.
Vape company: Hey, want some lung cancer and a nicotine addiction?
Teens: NO WAY!
Vape company: But it’s mango flavored!
Teens: O OK. 😤
What time is it when it turns 13 o'clock?
Time to get a new watch.
What is a fun game for an emo kid?
Tug-o-war with a tree.
I know this isn't about glue, but here's one:
Cardi B had a sister who was obsessed with fitness. Her name? Cardi O.
What do Batman and orphans have in common?
Their parents died.
Why did the chicken cross the rooooo o oooad?
Dmitri! Where's my vodka?
Presidents are normal, physically.
Biden: Trips over a f***ing stair.
Why does an orphan start with an "O"?
Because they only see their parents in their dream.
Your momma's so fat she started "Fat Lives Matter". Meetings are everyday:
11 o'clock McDonald's, 12 o'clock KFC, 1 o'clock Pizza Hut.
Stop telling orphan jokes before they tell their parents.
Oh wait, they don't have any, please continue.
What did the mother say to Michael J. on the beach?
"Excuse me sir, but you're in my son!"
People: (arguing about stopping orphan jokes since they aren't funny).
Me: (m e h. i d o n t c a r e)
People are arguing about stopping orphan jokes.
Me: m e h. i d o n t c a r e.
What do a jack-o-lantern and an emo have in common?
They can both carve a new emotion.
I went out for a drive and attempted to drift on the road. It didn't end well for me, or for the speed bumps I hit.
Wait, there aren't any road bumps.
O h s h i t.