The 200+ Best OED Jokes

I'm a Model. my doctor asked me to make an acronym for POST because I post pictures on Instagram. (Trying to) P-ut O-ff Suicidal T-houghts

A 10y.o. : I don't want to smile without having a reason to. People shouldn't think I'm happy 24/7. A 10y.o. week later: Damn... my life is shitty...

<2y. later> 12y.o. : What is de-pre-ssion? *googles it*

Now 14y.o. : Oh...

What do you call a private nun.

Nun-o-yo-business

A Child asks his teacher to go to the toilet "before you go recite the alphabet" the teacher says a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z "good but wheres the p?" "running down my leg"

What 7 letters do you say when you open he fridge and see it’s empty

o i c u r m t

all orphans must be gay because they are not home o fobic

me: brags about my 30 kill streak

the jury: O.o

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Spell.

Spell who?

W. H. O.

Have you heard of the Tic-Tac-Toe Beetle? It has an X-O-skeleton.

A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.

The rabbit says, "I think I'm a type-o"

Do people even like me C A S N O V A

You momma's so fat she started fat lives matter .. meetings are everyday 11 o clock mcdonalds 12 o clock kfc 1 o'clock pizza Hut

I asked my lab partner for sodium hypobromate, but he said Na Br O

What time is it when it turns 13 O clock?

Time to get a new watch

What do you call an acid with a bad attitude?

A-Mean-O-Acid

This boy was in school one day when he became desparate to go to the bathroom. So he asked the teacher, "May I use the bathroom?"

The teacher replied, "No, not unless you say your alphabet."

So the boy said "a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z."

When he finished, the teacher asked him, "Where's the p?"

The boy replied, "Half way down my leg..."

A man gets on a bus, and ends up sitting next to a very attractive nun. Enamored with her, he asks if he can have sex with her. Naturally, she says no, and gets off the bus. The man goes to the bus driver and asks him if he knows of a way for him to have sex with the nun.

"Well," says the bus driver, "every night at 8 o'clock, she goes to the cemetery to pray. If you dress up as God, I'm sure you could convince her to have sex with you."

The man decides to try it, and dresses up in his best God costume. At eight, he sees the nun and appears before her.

"Oh, God!" she exclaims. "Take me with you!" The man tells the nun that she must first have sex with him to prove her loyalty. The nun says yes, but tells him she prefers anal sex. Before you know it, they're getting down to it, having nasty, grunty, loud sex. After it's over, the man pulls off his God disguise.

"Ha, ha! I'm the man from the bus!"

"Ha, ha!" says the nun, removing her costume. "I'm the bus driver!"

A man books a session to see a therapist, as he claims he has a strong fear of the 15th, 9th and 3rd letters of the alphabet. So once the therapist, let's call him Frank has jotted that down on his notebook he says, "o, i c"