I took an hour-long shower. The German officers were looking at me kinda scared.
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
Two men ran into a bar. You would have thought after the first one hit it, the second one would have seen it.
When you realize your friend standing next to you is adopted and narrates everything he does.
Your hairline is like the universe. It's still waiting to be discovered.
Your hairline is so nonexistent, even the universe couldn't find it.
When I saw a kid fall with no legs, I said, "Just walk it off!"
A telescope has two uses:
1. To look in space. 2. To see your hairline.
"Chris, I just saw five fat people, and you are one of them."
Your hairline legit looks like the Himalayan mountain range, except you need binoculars to find it.
I saw a orphan on the road I asked him if he's a ophorn the kid says ye what gave it away
I say your parents
Like it if you judge people's hairlines.
They say we have a primal sense, that we can just feel when someone is watching us.
It’s been a few weeks, and it's clear that you do not have that sense.
Your hairline is back, people say. "Look at this dude."
My friend said he saw a blind man. I said, "Did he LOOK nice?"
The double slit experiment shows light particles are a wave that assemble in your presence. And you didn't even have to say a word!
Have you ever observed the depression cycle of a snail?
It's pretty much a downward spiral.
So today I heard a friend say she had a stalker. I can confirm I've never seen a stalker following her.
*WARNING* THIS WILL NEVER GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD - READ IF YOU DARE.....
What came first? The chicken or the egg?
Which came first? The color orange or the fruit?
Who taught the first ever teacher?
If you expect the unexpected, doesn't that make the unexpected expected?
If you describe something as 'indescribable', then haven't you already described it?
In the word 'scent', is the silent letter the 's' or the 'ce'?
Why do your lips touch when they say the word 'separate', but don't touch when you say the word 'together'?
How many photos do you think you could be in the background of?
The guy who discovered cow milk, what was he doing with that cow?
Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, "Oh no, it's a cop"?
Is it possible to cry underwater?
If two left handers have an argument, who is right?
I warned you!! You just didn't listen.... :O
There are 10 million million million million million million million million particles in da universe that we can observe.
Yo mama took the ugly ones and put them into one nerd.
