Observation

Observation Jokes

Neighbor

My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.

Shower

I took an hour-long shower. The German officers were looking at me kinda scared.

Weight

A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

Bar

Two men ran into a bar. You would have thought after the first one hit it, the second one would have seen it.

Adoption

When you realize your friend standing next to you is adopted and narrates everything he does.

Kid

When I saw a kid fall with no legs, I said, "Just walk it off!"

Hairline

Your hairline's so far back, you need binoculars to see it.

Man, your hairline is so far back, archaeologists couldn't find it.

Hairline

Your hairline legit looks like the Himalayan mountain range, except you need binoculars to find it.

Orphan

I saw an orphan on the road. I asked him if he's an orphan. The kid says, "Yeah, what gave it away?"

I say, "Your parents."

Sense

They say we have a primal sense, that we can just feel when someone is watching us.

It’s been a few weeks, and it's clear that you do not have that sense.

Man

My friend said he saw a blind man. I said, "Did he LOOK nice?"

Slit

The double slit experiment shows light particles are a wave that assemble in your presence. And you didn't even have to say a word!

Depression

Have you ever observed the depression cycle of a snail?

It's pretty much a downward spiral.