How do you make a peanut laugh? You crack it up.
A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store acorns for winter so now I am dead" haha it is funny because the squirrel gets dead.
2 nuts were chasing each other. One said to the other "I'm-a cashew!"
2 nuts were walking down the street, and one was a-salted!
What do you call a mix of nuts, bolts, and my ex?
A roTHOT
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders. As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"
Other jokes:
1. Why did the ketchup blush? He saw the salad dressing.
2. What did the elephant ask the naked man? How do you breathe out of that thing?
3. How do you make your husband scream during sex? Call him and let him hear it.
4. Why does the mermaid wear seashells? She outgrew her b-shells!
5. How is life like toilet paper? You’re either on a roll or taking shit from someone.
6. What does one boob say to the other boob? If we don’t get support, people will think we’re nuts.
7. What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? A man will actually search for a golf ball.
8. What did Cinderella do when she arrived at the ball? She gagged.
Why did Mr peanut die? His cane snapped.
squril:i got a joke dog:what the hell is it squril:i clicked my nuts and clickedmy poop
Ccddfftggfdrrttty
Hi how are you busy doing right I just text me and my dad was just text
What do you call a magic car that I can do to help me out for you and I will be doing a great day
Do you like Wendy’s? Yeah Wendy’s nuts finna go in your mouth
The other day a squirrel asked me for a job, I asked him what jobs did you have previously. Calmly he answered," I am a pilot, I can pick it up from here and pile it over there, I also can fly a sign!!!" " To bad, this is a nut cannery, and we're 100% automated, we don't need anyone at this time, sorry." " No worries, I'm totally nuts anyway, guess I'll fly a sign across town, don't have bus fare!!!"
Hi how are you busy doing today did I have to text more today after dinner I did text and you have been to the vet and walk walk home from home and walk walk home 🏠 night is so nice 👍 I did not walk away but you don’t want me to text me to let you know when I get home can you walk
Do you like Wendy's when dese nuts hit your face
What do you think of your mom I have to go now and tyyyytt
What kind of tree fits into your hand? A palm tree
What do squirrels eat? Nuts 🥜
What do you think of your mom I can do it yyyy
What do squats eat? Numbers
