Nothing jokes
What's the difference between a rubber and Michael Jackson? Nothing, kids touch them both.
What's the difference between a tornado and a divorce down south?
Nothing. Someone's losing a trailer.
Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face.
For instance, when you push them down the stairs.
Chrome turns you into chrome, but there is a chrome back bling, and it does nothing to you.
What did the tree say to the kid with the rope?
Nothing, he was hanging.
Your life literally is as valuable as a summer ant. I'm just gonna stomp you, you're gonna keep coming back, I'm gonna seal up all my cracks, you're gonna keep coming back, why? Cause you keep smelling the syrup, you worthless bitchass nlgga! You're gonna stay on my dick until you die. You serve no purpose in life, your purpose in life is to be on my stream sucking on my dick daily. Your purpose in life is to be in that chat blowing a dick daily. Your life is nothing, you serve ZERO purpose. You should kill yourself, NOW! And give somebody else a piece of that oxygen and ozone layer that's covered up so we can breathe inside this blue trapped bubble. Cause what are you here for? To worship me? Kill yourself! I mean that with a hundred percent with a thousand percent.
I woke up one night to a strange noise, and when I went to investigate what it was, I found out that it was coming from my parents' room.
I looked inside and counted, ok one, two, three finger men and my mom, so nothing out of the ordinary, so then I checked my sister's room, and I counted 4 other women in the room, but then I realized that the sound was coming from right in front of me. It was my dad giving me a BJ the whole time.
Why did Helen Keller’s boyfriend have wax on his finger? Because he was whispering sweet nothings into her ear!
Q: What did the drunk emo say to the bartender?
A: Nothing! He was hung over.
A man walks into a bar, sits down, and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating, and said he'll give one shot on the house. The man said, "I'm celebrating my first blowjob. And nah, if 12 shots doesn't get the taste out of my mouth, nothing will."
What does a girl want more than anything in the world?
Nothing. She's fine.
What’s the difference between Hitler and a bug?
Nothing.
Hi guys! Ello here! So I am determined to get as many people as possible to like my jokes and comment. So, without further ado, here goes nothing!
So I have been looking at all your jokes, and UHHHHHH has not been the nicest. I don't really love the words she is choosing, but I'm not going to let her get in my head. :)
So guys make sure that you like and comment! Love y'all!!!!! :D
What did the orphan say to his parents? Nothing, cause they left him.
What did the baritone say to the alto?
Nothing, you couldn’t hear him.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, for instance when you push them down the stairs.
What’s the difference between an erection and Edward Holland? Nothing, they're both dicks.
...
I am having a shit and there[sic] nothing else to read.
This man came up to me and asked if I could sell my house to him, and I said sure. Then five days later, he said that the loan should come in the mailbox. Then I checked the mailbox, and the only thing I saw was nothing, so I told the guy, "DEEZ NUTS IN YOUR MOUTH!"