Why did half of the world not see Avengers: Endgame?
Cause half of them were Thanos snapped in Avengers: Infinity War.
What is yellow and does not float well?
A School Bus
Y'all I'm suspended till wendsday and can't do much cuz I'm on a tablet not my computer. Tell autterpop I won't be on till wendsday or after
Dear clothing websites if it's put of stock DO NOT ADVERTISE IT
Why do orphans eat breakfast with water
The dad did not come home with the milk
What did Michael Jackson say before he broke up with Billie Jean? Billie Jean is not my lover.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What does a duck and a tablespoon have in common? Both are not a lamp.
Why did the midget not go to bed? He couldnt reach the bed
knock knock. Not your dad?
The pastor sees little Johnny sitting on the church steps. Little Johnny is fixated on something. The pastor looks closer and sees that Johnny is stirring up something in an old coffee can. He says, "What you got there little Johnny?" "This here is turpentine, the most POWERFUL liquid in the world.", says Johnny. The pastor shakes his head, sits down next to Johnny and says, "Now you know that's not true son. Holy water is the most powerful liquid in the world. One drop of holy water on a pregnant woman's stomach and the next morning she'll pass a baby boy." Little Johnny says, "Well that may be true. But one drop of this on a cats ass and he'll pass a motorcycle!"
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
One afternoon, a man was walking to a bar after work. Across the street, an Irish nun stood there waving her arms at the man. "Look at this poor drunkard! The Lord does not love him! He will be sent to Hell!" the nun shouted. The man walked over to the nun. "Hey! I had a hard day at work! I was going to get ONE beer! Have you ever even tried a drink before?" the man asked. The nun looked down and shook her head. "Well, if you tried it, you would probably like it! Would you want to try something?" the man asked. The nun replied, "Okay, only one thing." "What would you like?" asked the man. He offered her beer and whiskey, but she declined. "How about a little gin?" the man concluded. "Okay, sure. But, can you ask them to put it in a mug so people don't see what I'm drinking?" asked the nun. "Fine," the man walks into the bar and waves to the bartender. "Hey, can I have a bottle of beer and a bit of gin? Also, can that be in a mug?" asked the man. The bartender looked up, with fury in his eyes. "Don't tell me that damn nun is out there again!" the bartender said.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Why is the koala not a bear? It doesn't have the right koalafications.
Did jeasus die a virgin Of course not he got nailed before he died!
Abortion is not murder its cancelling a pre order
What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter he's not coming.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Me:Help I'm stuck in a trap Friend:What kind? Me:It's called life, yeah I've been trying to get out of it for 6 years now, it just won't let me go. Friend:That's not funny.. Me:Yeah? Nor is wanting to die, yet I'm still over here laughing every time I try to. Friend:I'm calling your mom. Me:She knows. Friend:Whats she doing to help, then? Me:She's supposed to help? Friend:Have you told your dad? Me:I will when he comes back. Friend:Where is he? Me:I don't know he's been gone for 15 years. Friend:.... Me:What? Friend:Why? Me:Why what? Friend:Why would you joke like that? Me:I was joking.. Friend:I know. Me:Oh. I didn't know. Friend:... Me:Have a nice day, I'll see you tomorrow..Maybe..
