Not jokes

Why did the strawberry 🍓 go out with a banana? Because it could not find a date.

Why are orphans not boomerangs? Because they never come back.

If you're reading this, then good, let's stop this hating on this site! We can just get along, or if not, then don't say anything at all! "Kiss."

How many children does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Not 27, because my basement is still dark.

What's the difference between life and a rape joke?

Life fucks you until you stop breathing, a rape joke fucks you until it's not funny anymore.

I will always remember my grandpa's last words after robbing a bank: "Oh, shit! The pigs are catching up!" But the cops did not kill him; he drove full speed off a cliff.

Republicans really want weed not to be legal, fucking cunts!

The school shooter encounters the emo kid. He reaches for his gun, but the emo kid disappears. He then finds that his gun is not on him.

A fat man coming in the store.

Waiter: Oh god, not again :|

Fat man: Hi, I would like three fries and 19 burgers.

Waiter: Sorry sir, you will get the owner's store out of stock on food. Can I get you a salad instead?

Fat man: Oh sorry, but I'm the owner, and I have a lot of stocks. For the record, you should get yourself my order. You're skinny af, girl. You trying to be a stick or something?

If a baby cow finds a wolf pup, they will be best friends, but when mummy wolf comes, it’s a fight, so the baby cow and the wolf pup made it a secret, but one day the mummy cow and the mummy wolf found out, but no one got hurt. In fact, the mummy cow and the mummy wolf got to know each other, and baby cow and wolf pup were very happy and played all day long. Their friendship will never break.

-THE END-

This was not a joke but a meaning: if you are different, that doesn’t change who you are and your friends are, so be yourself and don’t let people break your dreams, and don’t forget them either. So no matter who you are, don’t let people change who you are. 🐺🐮

Man: "I know how to please a woman." Woman: "Then please leave me alone."

Man: "I want to give myself to you." Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

Man: "Your hair color is fabulous." Woman: "Thank you. It's on aisle three at the corner drug store."

Man: "You look like a dream." Woman: "Go back to sleep."

Man: "I can tell that you want me." Woman: "Yes, I want you to leave."

Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?" Woman: "Do not enter. -OR- Stop."

Man: "Your body is like a temple." Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."

Man: "Is this seat empty?" Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."

Man: "What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?" Woman: "I hate you."

Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?" Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."

What's the difference between a boy and girl? A boy always carries an average 5in "do not enter" sign.

I am an actual police officer (Not gonna mention with which department in case they actually check this site) and tbh I find these jokes funny as fuck, carry on boys.

Why does Mexico not have a good athletics team? Because anyone who can run or jump is already over the wall.

I'm not transphobic. I just want transparency...

Just to get things straight, I'm NOT, I repeat, NOT racist, but this joke goes out to all the people who talk about other people with darker skin than the other person.

Bully: Your skin is so black and ugly (for the 5th time).

Me: I'm so happy you love my skin color!

Bully: Ew, no I don't!

Me: Then why do you keep talking about it?

Rodd Flanders: What's "gay" mean?

Bart: Uh, it means you used to be afraid, but now you're not.

Rodd says to his dad Ned: I'm gay, Daddy.

Dark humor is like a home; not everyone gets it.

Why did the orphan cross the road? (Not to see his mom or dad.)

What's worse than a failed suicide, you ask?

I fail suicide because you forgot to do the dishes and your parents come after you and they're the ones to kill you, not yourself.