Not jokes

Name

    • Hello, are you there?

    Yes, who are you?

    My name is Watt.

    What’s your name?

    Watt’s my name.

    Yes, what is your name?

    My name is John Watt.

    John What?

    Yes, are you Jones?

    No, I’m Knott.

    Will you tell me your name?

    Will Knott.

    Why not?

    My name is Knott.

    Not what?

    Not Watt, Knott!

    *hangs up*

    Tree

    • Q: Why didn't the Oak tree win the election?

    A: He didn't get the votes he was oaking for, because he was not the popular vote.

    Kobe

    • Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.

    Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.

  • 1

    • Wrinkle

    • What's the worst part about getting old?

    Going to pull up the wrinkles in your socks, just to find out you're not wearing socks!

    Not memes

    Masturbation

    • Life isn't about pleasing yourself and that you have to do things for the sole benefit of God.

    It’s like masturbation. Sometimes it’s not getting yourself off, but getting someone else off too. That’s what thighjobs are for.

  • 0

    • Orphan

    • Not to be rude or anything, but I'm not adopted. My boyfriend is, and some of these are really mean because sometimes their parents give them up just because they're ugly or just because of their skin color. We should stop making fun of them, and yes, I do giggle sometimes, but they can be really hurtful sometimes.

    Okay

    • My parents said to me, "Whenever you say sorry to someone and they say, 'It's okay,' it's really not."

    So I said, "Okay."

    Magic Trick

    • I told my mom, "Do you want to see a magic trick?" She said yes. I said, "You are going to have a hot dog and cream pie together." My mom said, "No, I'm not," but I told my mom, "I'm going to need your assistance." First, I need you to lick and suck on my hot dog that is attached to me, which she did. The next minute my mom has a cream pie over her face. Then I told my mom, "You see, you are going to have a hot dog and cream pie together." Then my mom said, "When you are right, you are right."

  • 0

    • Mama

    • Your mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale the doctor asked for her weight, not her phone number.

    Alphabet

    • Dang... if I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put D IN U ;)

    I only know there are 25 letters in the alphabet, I don't know Y.

    (Me: How many letters are in the alphabet?) -- (Friend: 11- T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T)

    (Me: There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?) -- (Crush: No, there is actually 26.) -- (Me: oooOoh, I forgot u r a qt! So its acdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz?) -- (Crush: You forgot the D) -- (Me: That's not needed yet ;])

    What letter is really hot? T

    C = cOCK O = CoCK C = COcK K = COCk COCK = cock cock = COCK

    ME SExUAL SRrY LoL