in English class the teacher says (Teacher): Kids you need to say the alphabet ok Sally you first. (Sally): Okay a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z. (Teacher): good job Sally. Then the teacher called on 4 other students who got it right. Then the teacher called on little Johnny. (Teacher): Little Johnny say the alphabet. (Little Johnny): bcefghijklmnopsvwxyz. (Teacher): no Johnny that’s not right. (Johnny): oh I forgot u r a q t. (Teacher). No still not right and thank you. (Johnny): oh I’ll give you the d later . (Class): (laughing). (Teacher): GO TO THE OFFICE NOW .
How many dead prostitutes does it take to change a light bulb? -- Obviously not 8, because its still dark in my basement.
im jealous at me led lights. cause they r hanging from the celling ans im not.
I remember when I was a kid i thought the world used to be colorless.
I was kinda right, they used to not let colors in a lot of areas.
Wife: Hi honey im pregnant.
Husband: Hi pregnant im dad.
Wife: No your not....
he's not really dead, his update failed
Happiness is like food, not everyone gets it
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Sans: why didn't the skeleton not go to the party? Papyrus: because they looked like me? Sans:... Sure
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
A man walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist, "May I have a bottle of arsenic, please?" She is shocked. "Why would you want something like that?" The man calmly tells her, "I want to poison my unfaithful wife and her lover." The pharmacist is now horrified. She said, "I can not possibly give you that. It is completely illegal and I would lose my license and be prosecuted for conspiracy and murder!" At this point the man hands the pharmacist a photo of his unfaithful wife having sex with the pharmacist's husband. She examines it then looks up at him. "Oh. I didn't know you had a prescription."
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
you know what me and my spine both have in common we are both not straight
dark humor is like a home not everyone gets it
why did sally fall off the swing? because she had no arms ~ knock knock who's there? not sally ~ what first went through sally's head when the nazis came? a bullet ~ where did sally go when the bomb exploded? everywhere ~ what did sally get for christmas? a bike
It's not rape if she doesn't say no
Two options: - Chloroform - Duct Tape
You do 1 line, you're not a crack head You drink 1 beer, you're not an alcoholic But I murder 1 person...
Coronavirus walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "Gimme a shot of whiskey, will ya?"
The bartender says, "Sorry. We don't serve viruses here."
Corona replies, "Well, you're not a very good host."
Nazis have marched in Melbourne. Are you sure Eric Clapton and Carrie Underwood are not touring in Australia?
What do u call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter its not coming anyways
