Not jokes
"Ur Grandma" You think you're funny? Well, sorry, but you're not.
This is not a joke, nor did I come up with it.
If somebody calls you ugly, just hug them and say, "Life must be hard for you since you have visual impairment!"
Are you gay? "No." Oh, so you're not happy? "No." Oh...
Why did the fire not burn the kid? Because it had no lips.
Why do orphans not play sport?
Because they need parents' permission.
The Hodja purchased a piece of meat at the market, and on his way home he met a friend.
Seeing the Hodja's purchase, the friend told him an excellent recipe for stew.
"I'll forget it for sure," said the Hodja. "Write it on a piece of paper for me."
The friend obliged him, and the Hodja continued on his way, the piece of meat in one hand and the recipe in the other. He had not walked far when suddenly a large hawk swooped down from the sky, snatched the meat, and flew away with it.
"It will do you no good!" shouted the Hodja after the disappearing hawk. "I still have the recipe!"
A man walked into a bar with an AK-47 with a 50-round mag and yelled out, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" Everyone was quiet.
One man at the back stood up and called, "Sorry mate, but I don't think you have enough bullets."
Why did the bounty hunter not cash in an orphan?
He was not worth keeping.
Why did the pumpkin man not go to the party? He had his hand stuck in a treasure chest.
What's an orphan's least favorite show? Family Guy ;)
It’s not like they can watch it anyway: it’s PG.
A joke: my life, hahahahaha! Wait, it's not funny.
I told my wife I needed a blood transfusion when I could not remember. She said, "Be positive too."
Bad, I am now a ghost writing this.
What’s Hitler’s favorite letter?
Not Z.
Why do emo kids not jump?
They're still in the sky.
The point of war is not to die for your country, but to make the fresh recruit on the enemy's side die for his.
Period: Guess who’s back... back again...
Me: Ugh, can we not do this today?
Period: I can come back in 9 months?
Me: Keep fucking singing.
Why do an emo's parents not let them cook, because they are afraid they will cut themselves?
If nine is a number, then why on Earth is not "ja" a number?
It would be pretty funny if something that's not a joke was the most liked thing. It would be pretty funny, I think, lol. Just a little funny, lol.
What do you call a gay man that is not a vegetarian?
A cocksucker.