Nobody jokes
Why are feminist rape claims never taken seriously? Nobody wants to rape fat, hairy gorillas.
What's Michael Jackson's favorite thing to do when nobody's home?
Beat it.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't wanna say this, but nobody cares about you.
I was visiting an orphanage and started to pull in close to the building. My car hit 3 speed bumps, and it caught me off guard. I got out of my car, looked under my tire, and saw three orphans wedged in my tire. I started to get worried, but then I thought to myself... nobody will miss them.
Your Mama so fat, when she fell on the sidewalk, nobody laughed but the sidewalk cracked up.
Nobody really liked our fireplace.
So I turned it into a brick pizza oven. Idk why, but now everyone likes our fireplace.
Why did nobody believe the little girl who got raped?
She said a monster attacked her.
What do you call a person with no body and no nose? "Nobody knows."
Why can't orphans sleep? Nobody can tuck them in.
Why did the woman feel ugly?
A. Nobody would even rape her.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
Nobody finds that one funny.
Why didn’t the skeleton go to the party?
He had nobody to go with.
In my locality, there was an orphanage but everybody in the locality was really sexist too, so they had to change the orphanage into a brothel 'cause everybody took the boys away and nobody was taking the girls and the manager didn't want to waste any 14-year-old pussy, did he?
Why are orphans lucky?
Because they can get in trouble and nobody can tell their parents.
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.
Everybody asks, "What's up?" but nobody asks, "What's down?"
What do you call a seven who's not feeling well? A sick seven
Where did Sally go after stepping onto the minefield? Everywhere
Getting a girlfriend is just like parking a car; usually all the good ones are taken, so you just gotta stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.
There are some questionable candies out there, such as:
"All I want is a good Blow Pop."
"I don’t even want to know where that Butterfinger has been."
"If you do, you’ll probably end up with tasting the rainbow."
"Nobody wants to bite into an O’Henry."
"Or adopt Three Musketeers."
"Or even end up with a Sour Patch."
When in Poland people go to a house party, and the atmosphere is bad, nobody is talking, they say: "Is there a German here?"
This pastor decided to skip church one Sunday morning and go play golf.
He told his assistant that he wasn't feeling well. He drove to a golf course in another city, so nobody would know him.
He teed off on the first hole. A huge gust of wind caught his ball, carried it an extra hundred yards and dropped it right in the hole, for a 450 yard hole in one.
An angel looked at God and said "What'd you do that for?" God smiled and said "Who's he going to tell?"