Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't wanna say this, but nobody cares about you.
I was visiting an orphanage and started to pull in close to the building. My car hit 3 speed bumps, and it caught me off guard. I got out of my car, looked under my tire, and saw three orphans wedged in my tire. I started to get worried, but then I thought to myself... nobody will miss them.
Trying to find a good parking spot is a lot like trying to find a girlfriend.
If you can’t find one, you stick it in the disabled spot and hope nobody finds out.
Your Mama so fat, when she fell on the sidewalk, nobody laughed but the sidewalk cracked up.
Nobody really liked our fireplace.
So I turned it into a brick pizza oven. Idk why, but now everyone likes our fireplace.
Why did nobody believe the little girl who got raped?
She said a monster attacked her.
Why can't orphans sleep? Nobody can tuck them in.
Why did the woman feel ugly?
A. Nobody would even rape her.
Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the udder side.
Nobody finds that one funny.
Why didn’t the skeleton go to the party?
He had nobody to go with.
In my locality, there was an orphanage but everybody in the locality was really sexist too, so they had to change the orphanage into a brothel 'cause everybody took the boys away and nobody was taking the girls and the manager didn't want to waste any 14-year-old pussy, did he?
Why are orphans lucky? Because they can get in trouble and nobody can tell there parents.
Everybody asks, "What's up?" but nobody asks, "What's down?"
When in Poland people go to a house party, and the atmosphere is bad, nobody is talking, they say: "Is there a German here?"
This pastor decided to skip church one Sunday morning and go play golf.
He told his assistant that he wasn't feeling well. He drove to a golf course in another city, so nobody would know him.
He teed off on the first hole. A huge gust of wind caught his ball, carried it an extra hundred yards and dropped it right in the hole, for a 450 yard hole in one.
An angel looked at God and said "What'd you do that for?" God smiled and said "Who's he going to tell?"
My pal asked me why nobody wants to eat the spaghetti he makes in his restaurant.
Well, because it's impastable.
Normal person: "I'm perfect!"
Goth person: "Nobody is."
We should bully foster parents more for raising parent-less nobodies.
My dumb ass thinking I made a friend, oh ya, I forgot, literally nobody likes me!
NASA stands for "Nobody Already Seen Astronauts."
