(Wait, forgot about the 3rd third thing.) I have said this countless times, but it doesn't seem to be getting through to you: quit hating on particular jokes. You don't like it? Nobody cares. Don't go into the morbid jokes category, you idiots, ffs!
What do you and orphans have in common?
Nobody loves you.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have nobody to call "Daddy~"
What's one advantage of being an orphan?
Nobody can make mama jokes about you. 🌚
Nobody: People on the Titanic: *SCREAMING INTENSIFIES*
*at school*
Nobody: Do you want nuts?
Me: Wait, you have some?
Nobody: Yeah, they're my own.
Me: :0
Why is an orphan bad at hide-and-seek?
Because nobody will actually look for them.
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because there is nobody to call "daddy."
My sis is very funny. Her fave joke is:
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Mr. Nobody." "Mr. Nobody who?" "I just told you!"
Nobody knows how bad you smell.
A local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing bet of one thousand dollars that their bartender could squeeze a lemon dry until all the juice ran into a glass, and anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried but failed. Over time, weight lifters, lumberjacks, men in the Army, and etc. But still, nobody could do it.
One day, a scrawny little man came in wearing thick glasses and a cheap suit and said in a tiny squeaky voice, "I'd like to try the bet." After the laughter had died down, the bartender said, "okay," and he grabbed a lemon and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rhine to the little man. But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the one thousand dollars and asked the little man, "What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weight lifter, or what?" The man simply replied, "I work for the IRS."
I can tell why the Founding Fathers adopted the Constitution, because nobody likes it.
My life.
Why didn't the orphan do the work?
Because when the teacher says they would call your mum or dad, there's nobody to call.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have nobody to call "daddy."
How to get rich:
Step 1: Tell an orphan he will get a family.
Step 2: Knock out the orphan.
Step 3: Cut open the orphan.
Step 4: Well there [are] organs.
Step 5: Do it again.
And nobody will call the cops 'cause they got no family.
I want to die at a party. This is because nobody can be sad over me.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have nobody to call "daddy."
Joe Mama so fat, when she told a joke nobody laughed, but the floor was cracking up.
Nobody:
JFK: :) Hi guys!
JFK's killer: Ayo look at this shit, I just hit a clip.
