Look behind you, there is Stephen Hawking.
Nobody.
What do you and Joe Biden have in common?
Nobody loves you or him.
Why was the rapper so good at math?
Because he could count bars like NOBODY’S BUSINESS!
Why was the skeleton sad at the dance?
Because it had "no body" to go with.
How is the world like a box of crayons?
Nobody likes the white ones.
And a side note, it's multi colored.
Orphans actually have an advantage. Nobody can call them motherless or test-tube babies in an argument.
Why can't I be gay? I have nobody to call "daddy."
Teacher: "If you're dumb, stand up."
Nobody stands up.
After some waiting, the teacher says, "Really? No one? There must be someone."
Little Johnny stands up.
"Oh, so you think you're dumb, Johnny?"
"Nah, I just feel bad that you're standing alone."
Me imagining how Batman's hairline looks like.
Nobody: Me: His hairline kinda do look like a Batman symbol.
Why has nobody been on Neptune? Because the wind is so big. And why the wind's so big? Because Neptune's yelling, "GETT OFFF MMY PPRROOPERRTY!!"
Nobody: The crickets in the back: Talk talk talk.
Me: JOE MAMA OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Did you know there’s a sex position called “Amazon”? You wait all day and nobody comes.
Why does the paper follow up with wine because it was junk? Do wrong, so wrong that you don’t even exist because nobody even eats it. Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Haha ha ha! Haha ha haha ha ha! Ha hah hah hah ha!
Why does nobody talk to the letter G?
Because it's always in the middle of awkward!
I can't make any more songs because nobody likes them. So when you see a song you like, give it a like so I can continue making more songs.
If anyone would like a song played, type it in the comments. Type the name of the song, then type the person who made the song, the songwriter. Sincerely, Watersharky Music Productions.
Why do we call them dead bodies? Nobody says "alive bodies!" Like you walk into your workplace, "OMFG IT'S FULL OF BODIES! Alive ones, though." You wouldn't give birth and say, "Come on, husband, help me with the bodies." If it's a surprise party, you wouldn't say, "QUICK, HIDE THE BODIES!" And the person who the party was for wouldn't say "OH MY GOD WHY ARE THEY DEAD!"
When you're in a cage But it's not real!
Being in a cage But you have the key.
Being in a cage But nobody sees you.
Being outside of a cage, but it's empty.
Living and realizing you've been born into one.
Thinking someone cared about you But turns out they're toxic as fu**.
But you can't live without them.
The cage Is you. You have the key But you don't know how to use it.
Why did orphans have to drink their own piss?
Because last time they went to the bar, they went with their dad and drank some Corona, then got drunk and started eating someone's toenails, so his dad went to go get the milk and everybody had to evacuate the bar. Then the orphan started walking on his teeth and got listed for the top ten wanted animals in the world, so then he felt wanted and went to go home and had nobody to go to, so he found the beer bottle he drunk out of and started pissing in it so he wouldn't die and loved it. So then someone saw him in the bushes pissing in a beer bottle then drinking, so the person who saw him started recording and posted it on YouTube, and the boy became famous, so now he can feel like he was wanted in life after daddy went to go get the milk, then the little boy became really rich.
Why did the skeleton not go to the ball?
He had no-body to go with.
Why does Helen Keller loom in the toilet after taking a poop?
Nobody knows!
