Nobody jokes
How to get rich:
Step 1: Tell an orphan he will get a family.
Step 2: Knock out the orphan.
Step 3: Cut open the orphan.
Step 4: Well there [are] organs.
Step 5: Do it again.
And nobody will call the cops 'cause they got no family.
Why was the rapper so good at math?
Because he could count bars like NOBODY’S BUSINESS!
Joe Mama so fat, when she told a joke nobody laughed, but the floor was cracking up.
Nobody:
JFK: :) Hi guys!
JFK's killer: Ayo look at this shit, I just hit a clip.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have nobody to call "daddy."
What do you and Joe Biden have in common?
Nobody loves you or him.
Why was the skeleton sad at the dance?
Because it had "no body" to go with.
I want to die at a party. This is because nobody can be sad over me.
Look behind you, there is Stephen Hawking.
Nobody.
How is the world like a box of crayons?
Nobody likes the white ones.
And a side note, it's multi colored.
Why does nobody talk to the letter G?
Because it's always in the middle of awkward!
What do you call a person with nobody and no nose?
Orphans actually have an advantage. Nobody can call them motherless or test-tube babies in an argument.
Me imagining how Batman's hairline looks like.
Nobody: Me: His hairline kinda do look like a Batman symbol.
Why can't I be gay? I have nobody to call "daddy."
Teacher: "If you're dumb, stand up."
Nobody stands up.
After some waiting, the teacher says, "Really? No one? There must be someone."
Little Johnny stands up.
"Oh, so you think you're dumb, Johnny?"
"Nah, I just feel bad that you're standing alone."
Why has nobody been on Neptune? Because the wind is so big. And why the wind's so big? Because Neptune's yelling, "GETT OFFF MMY PPRROOPERRTY!!"
Nobody: The crickets in the back: Talk talk talk.
Me: JOE MAMA OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Did you know there’s a sex position called “Amazon”? You wait all day and nobody comes.
Why does the paper follow up with wine because it was junk? Do wrong, so wrong that you don’t even exist because nobody even eats it. Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Haha ha ha! Haha ha haha ha ha! Ha hah hah hah ha!