No jokes
Hey, did you hear about the kidnapping?
"No."
Yeah, but then he woke up.
A man robs a bank and asks a woman, "Did you see that?"
She says, "Yes." So the man shoots her.
He leaves the bank and sees a couple. He asks, "Did you see that?" The husband said, "No, but my wife did!"
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
Boo.
"Boo who?"
It's just a joke, no need to cry!
Why can’t orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
Twin Towers? No plane, plane targets.
Memes
Why don’t violists play hide and seek?
Because no one will look for them.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.
No one:
Taeil: "Happy Christmas~"
Haechan: "It's Merry Christmas."
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It don't matter what you call it, 'cause it ain't gonna come to you.
Employer: Can you perform under pressure?
Me: No, but I do a pretty good "Bohemian Rhapsody."
Yo, sis, come here.
Sis: What?
Me: Oh, sorry, you doing school?
Sis: Yup.
Me: Can I go?
Sis: No way, you're going to hug me.
Me: I love you.
What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs, and sits in front of your door? Mat.
Why couldn't the skeleton go to the dance?
Because he had no BODY to go with.
What do you call a 6 year old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
Q. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A. A gummy bear.
Yo man, stand up.
*short person stands*
No, seriously man, stand up!
Dad: Son, do you want to play Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots?
Son: Sure, let me get it from the closet.
Dad: No, bring your sisters. Just like the game, they can’t move their legs.
What do you say to a woman in a wheelchair with no arms or legs?
"Nice tits."
Y'know that foundation called "Autism Speaks"? No, it screeches.
Two terrorists walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What can I get you?"
The terrorists both say, "A beer."
The bartender overhears them talking about how they will kill 300 people and a donkey. The bartender says, "Why a donkey?"
One terrorist says, "See, I told you no one would care about the people!"