No jokes
He’s so short no one can see you very close by.
Numb Butt Wheelchair Club: No Feeling, No Problem!
No matter how hard I try, I will never be a stand-up comedian.
Why is Jonnyy baiiiiii sad? Because he no shower pero.
Why can't orphanages play baseball?
Because there's no home to go to.
Memes
"There is no way you can fit in there."
"Says who?"
"Your mom."
"When?"
"Last night."
"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
Correctly spelled.
Yo mama so ugly that when the Kool-Aid Man busted through her wall, he said, “Oh no!”
See, this is the best thing about no such thing as vampires because I'd be the first person to say drinks are on me.
I'm dyslexic. My sister was reading, "What's the book?" I asked. She showed me the cover. "You reading 'The Scared Bull'?" I asked. She started laughing. "No, 'The Sacred Bull'!"
When does a dyslexic person know when they've spelt their address wrong?
When it fails to turn up.
What do you call a deer with no ear?
One ear.
We recently found out my grandpa is addicted to Viagra.
No one is taking it harder than grandpa.
This year the London marathon was run on your hairline. It was so far back no one could complete it!
Me: Hey, were you born on a highway?
My enemy: Uh, no, why?
Me: Because that’s where most accidents happen.
"Dinosaur killing with a 2x4, no more purple dinosaur!"
Hey, Britain, no queen? :(
I am so disappointed in this race.
Brown skinned street shitters, goddamn, the lowest of the low southeast Asians, lazy monkey pig-dog duck fetus eating rice brainlets always on their phones, no IQ, ugly, uncivilized untermensch subhumans.
Me: *reading a sign* "Children are a gift from god."
Me: "No, they are a gift from the underworld."
Mother: "Yeah, I picked you up at the gift shop on my way out."
Mother: "You are a spawn of Satan."
If the shoe doesn't fit, there's no evidence.