There are 4 people on a airplane and the pilot has a heart attack and dies the plane is going down and there are also only 3 parachutes so the guy who knows how to cure cancer says I’m jumping I can save many lives the the 46 president joe Biden says I’m take ing the 2 one so there is only one left Donald trump says to the 7 year old girl I have lived a long life u an take the next one so the little girl says that’s ok the 46 president took my back pack.lol
2 hunter are walking in the forest together. Hunter #2 flops down, unconscious, and and hunter #1 dials 911. Operator: "911 what's your emergency?" Hunter no. 1: "The other hunter, hunting with me in the woods fell asleep." Operator: "Check if he's / she's (not assuming genders) dead." *Operator hears a distant gunshot* Hunter no. 1: "What do I do next?"
The Bigfoots had a campfire one Bigfoot Asked what sould we roast next the other Repiled maybe a penis and a girl 👩🏻
one day there were these 3 cow boys sitting next to a fire and they were telling each other about their adventures well the first cow boy said i tangled with a bull that killed 6 people so i wrestled that son of a bitch to the ground with my bare hands the second cow boy said that's nothing yesterday i was walking on a trale and came across a rattler so i picked it up ,bit its head off and drank all his venom in one gulp the third cow boy remained quiet stering the embers of the fire with his penis
A family of 3, a dad, a mom, and a 12 year old son are driving in the car when the dad says, “How about we play a little game of two truths and a lie. It’ll be fun.” “Ok,” the mom and son reply happily. “Let me start,” says the son. “Ok, go ahead,” replies the mom. “I hate video games, I hate school, and I love junk food,” says the son. “Ooh ooh! You do love junk food, you do hate school, and you don’t hate video games.” Says the mom. “Your right!” He replies. “I’ll go next,” says the dad. I love your mom, you’re adopted, and my dad almost died in WWII.” “Hmm... Your dad did not almost die in WWII, obviously I’m not adopted, and you do love my mom.” Says the son. “The lie is the second on.” Says the sad.
When I was 8, my sister was half my age. I am 60 now, how old is my sister?
Comments: 30! Give me an easier question next time!
Why does no one sit next to a cheetah during school? Because their a big cheetah
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
A Teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and one by one, began to tell their stories. There were all the regular type of stuff.
But then the teacher realized that only Janie was left. "Janie, do you have a story to share ?’ ''Yes madam...My daddy told me a story about my Mom " “OK, let’s hear” said the teacher.
“My Mom was a Marine pilot in Operation Desert Storm in Iraq and her plane got hit”. “She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife”. “She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn’t break and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops.” “She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.”
Pin drop silence in the class !!
''Good Heavens" said the horrified teacher “What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story ?”
“Stay away from Mummy when she’s drunk```...!!!”
Kids, next time you have school dinners, make sure you have something you actually like so you don't have to shove all your food over to one side of the plate to make it look like you've eaten more than you actually have.
They say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Well, apparently, no one has ever been standing next to you.
Ok ok whats up with the Fake Gwens ama use a test to see who is real or not. The real Gwen will know this. When did I come onto this website? Next question what is my real name. And do I go on cursing rampages? Only the real Gwen can complete this test with the right answers.
I asked to switch seats on a plane because I was next to a crying baby. Evidently that doesn't work if the baby is yours.
I once asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite... He said NaBrO
Dad: no Timmy, you don't have to worry, there is no monster sleeping under your bed, it sleeps every night in the bed next to me.
what comes next in the pattern, ottffs_
s because it represents numbers going up, one two three four five six seven
Boyfreaind- let go to bed Girlfriend- no Boyfriend- why Girlfriend-because you want sex Boyfriend- no i dont NEXT MINUT The nan could hear banging
One day i was passing a blind man and i gave him a gun and told him it was a blow dryer next day i went for another walk and saw his grave
I spent 10 hours applying makeup so I could look pretty when I was going to have sex with my partner.
I needn't have bothered.
The next day, it was smeared all over my face.
there was this boy he had diarrhea and he kept asking to go to the bathroom but the teacher said no next ting you know he poop his self infront of the class.
