Worst Jokes Ever

Why do they call it Ovaltine?

The jar is round, the mug is round, they should call it Roundtine.

ligma balls

Me: It's so sad Ironman died of ligma. You: What the heck is an Ironman? Me: Ligma balls. "snap" ^kaboom^

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo?

Head N Shoulders.

I wanted to tell a commie a joke about food, but he’d have to wait 10 years to get it.

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

Make them clap until their parents come back.

Just because you‘re suicidal, you don‘t have to be a quitter.

Wait, actually.

Tyler's hairline is so bad.

My dad went out for milk. It's been 15 years and I still have to eat my cereal dry.

Man: Cow milk is drinkable.

Other man: How do you know that?

Man: *smiles with milk all over mouth*

Other man: John...h-how do you know that!

My wife cheated on me with my brother.

She didn't have a sister, so I improvised, and now all I have to do is wait nine months for one to come.

What's the difference between Jesus and a painting of him?

Well, it only takes one nail.

A midget had a disease, and the cure was on the highest shelf.

What do you call a Chinese baby?

Sum Ting Wong.

Dark humor is like food, some just don't get it.

I was in the mood for some dark meat, so I called my black friend.

Virginia is false advertising. Couldn't find many virgins there.

My black friend turned off the lights and suddenly disappeared.

I saw a pretty girl walking outside. I asked for her number.

We met up and began to have sex. She told me to turn over, which was weird. I felt a stinging pain in my ass all of a sudden.

Quiet Kid: *reaches into bag*

Teacher: EVERYBODY RUN!