Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Why do orphans like pedos? Because it's someone that loves them and they can call "daddy."

I'd like to have kids one day.

I don't think I could stand them any longer than that, though.

Wife: Honey, I’m pregnant. Husband: Hi Pregnant, I’m dad. Wife: No, you’re not.

Genie: You cannot wish for more wishes, immortality, or love.

Man: I wish not to die a virgin.

Genie: I just said no wishing for immortality!

There’s a lot of talk about starting families, but no one ever talks about finishing what they started.

A dark sense of humor is like a pair of functioning legs. Not everybody has one.

What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Holocaust victim?

Harry made it out of the chamber.

What is the difference between men and women?

Men have 2 heads, women have 4 lips because men do all the thinking, and women do all the talking.

What is the fastest way to spread a rumor?

Telephone? No.

Television? No.

How then? Tell a woman!

Q: What do you call a girl walking down a street?

A: Lost, she's supposed to be in the kitchen.

How many Michael Jacksons does it take to screw a light bulb?

Oh wait, Michael Jackson only screws little boys, my bad.

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  • Did you hear about Johnny Depp's shelter for abused women? It's going as well as Michael Jackson's children's hospital!

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  • What's the difference between a light bulb and a woman?

    You can screw and unscrew a light bulb, but you can't unscrew a woman.

    I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you're "being a respectful friend." Do it at home and you're "destroying evidence."