"Can't go under it, can't go over it, we gotta go through it!"
Worst Jokes Ever
Today I put the women’s rights book in the fantasy section of a library.
Today, I filmed an unboxing video at my friend's funeral.
His parents weren't too happy.
What’s the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?
You only need 1 nail to hang a painting!
Hairline so big people had to time travel to find the end of it.
What’s black and at the top of a stair case?
Stephen Hawking during a house fire.
Yo mama so fat that when she took a selfie, she needed two phones.
"Spray and pray," also known as a priest with an altar boy.
Remember the name Ben Andrews.
I could tell a joke right now, but it's too dark.
Yo momma so fat, I took a photo of her last year and it's still printing.
Why can't orphans use iPhones?
They can't find the home button.
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher?
Lots of blood tests!
Son: What's for dinner tonight?
Mom: Steak!
Son: Mom, you know I only eat veggies, so what's for me?
Mom: HUNGER!
Kid 1: Words can't describe how ugly you are.
Kid 2: Words can describe how beautiful you are.
Kid 1: Aw, thanks!
Kid 2: But numbers can. 0/10
Kid 1: I like you! Do you like me?
Kid 2: No. You never asked if I love you!
Kid 1: Aw, do you love me?
Kid 2: No!
What did the taco say to the Sea Turtle? I like your shell!
Yo mama so fat, when she jumped, I didn’t laugh, but the floor cracked up.
Your mum is so cute that I asked for her number and she said yes, and now we're dating.
Roses are red, violets are blue, the last time people got depressed ended World War II.
