What does a broken down vegetable say?
I need new wheels.
Worst Jokes Ever
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1st Person: Do you want to know something funny?
2nd Person: Yeah, sure!
1st Person: I don’t know, I’m German!
I was talking to my Welsh friend the other day, and he suddenly started talking Welsh to me then collapsed after the first few sentences. Turns out he had a stroke.
Is it just me, or when you wipe your ass too deep, it reminds you of your uncle? Just me?
What's better than poo?
Curiosity killed the cat.
But for a while, I was a suspect.
MooMooMooMoo
How do crazy people get through a forest?
They take the psycho-path!
What's large, grey, and doesn't matter?
An irrelephant.
What did the shoes say to the pants?
"SUP, BRITCHES!"
What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison?
A small medium at large!
Knock knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya who? Sorry, I prefer Google.
What did Mario say when he broke up with Princess Peach?
It's not you, it's a-me, Mario!
Knock, knock. Who's there? Daisy. Daisy who? Daisy me rollin', they hatin'!
Why did Sally fall off the swings?
Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally!
Why was three afraid of two? Because he killed everyone!
Voldemort: Knock, knock.
Harry Potter: Who's there?
Voldemort: You know.
Harry Potter: You know who?
Voldemort: Exactly!
What do you call someone who points out the obvious? Someone who points out the obvious.
What do you get when you insert human DNA into a goat? Banned from the petting zoo!