Worst Jokes Ever
How does an Indian open his car?
"Boot, boot!" (in an Indian accent)
"Dick dick dick, fuck dick nugget shit."
A momma cow and three baby calves are on a farm. The first baby calf asks the momma cow, "Mom, why is my name Rose?"
The mom responded, "Well, you see, when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head."
The second one asks her, "Then why is my name Daisy?"
The mom chuckled and simply replied with, "When you were born, Daisy petals fell on your head."
The last one said, "DUH DUR SURH!"
The mom said, "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!"
What is brown and extremely sticky?
A stick.
Question: Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
Answer: Because there was a... crack in it!!!! HAHAHAHAHA! :)
What do you call a Mongolian swindler?
A Khan artist.
What’s the difference between fruit and dead babies?
I don’t put fruit in a blender.
What’s the best thing about sex with 119 year olds? There are 100 of them.
Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine. But why did seven eat nine? Because seven knew you had to have three squared meals a day.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lick-alot-a-puss.
Your mom, bro! XD Roasted! Lmfaoooooooooo!
I started a band called 1023 megabytes. We still haven't gotten a gig.
“Have you ever tried Ethiopian food?”
“No.”
“Neither have they.”
Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims. They went through 80 stories in 7 seconds. In case you didn't see that one coming, don't feel bad, they didn't either.
What do you call an empty police station?
Banana Chicken.
How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her? They handed her a basketball and told her to “read this book”.
We don't got sluts in the South, we got NATS: Nasty Ass Traveling Sluts.
How do you die from Alzheimer's? You forget how to breathe.
The vampire was kept awake all night because of his wife's coughin' (coffin...coughin'...get it?)