Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

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Why did the cow want to be an astronaut?

Because it wanted to see the Milky Way!

My friend and I were at the mall and decided to try on some necklaces. He said, "I think you should get the one over there." I do. I look at my friend and he’s wearing one with a little extra length so you can adjust it. I asked him, "Did you just break away from your owner to upgrade to clothes and shoes?"

Me and my girlfriend were walking in the woods.

Her: I am scared!

Me: What do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone.

My girlfriend called me a cocksucker, but hey, 20 dollars is 20 dollars.

Stop making jokes about 9/11, my dad died in 9/11.

BEST PILOT OF SOUTHERN ARABIA

ALAKBAR

What is the difference between a pencil and a woman?

At least one has a point.

What is the difference between me and food?

Food has a use.

I called my guy friend a cock-sucker the other day. He replied with, "Hey, 20 bucks is 20 bucks."

What do genders and the Twin Towers have in common? There used to be 2, but now they're a sensitive topic...

My son wore his new "Go Vegan" Hoodie for the first time today, and already he's been verbally abused as well as being punched, kicked, & spat on!!!!

And he's not even left the house yet!!!

Said the man angered to his wife:

"Now stop the damn suicide tries! Just look at the gas bill!?"

Your hairline is so far back it looks like it's been slapped up by Will Smith.

In the hospital, I saw a girl with cancer trying to sleep. The ICU was going beep beep beep. I think that's why she can't sleep, so I turned it off. She's asleep forever now. Nighty night.