Worst Jokes Ever
What's an old Japanese man's last words?
"Hey, that cloud looks like a mushroom, or is it just me?"
A mirror and a beer bottle are arguing.
The beer bottle says: "If you break me, you get one year of bad luck."
The mirror scoffs: "Oh, that's nothing. You break me and you get 7 years of bad luck."
The condom overhears these arguments and walks off laughing.
My son told me he has to bring an object for show and tell at school.
So I had him bring my wife.
What do you call a group of white people running down a hill?
An avalanche.
How do you turn a cat into a fish?
Tell your girl not to wash down there.
Did you know Paul Walker had dandruff?
Neither did I until I found his Head and Shoulders in the glove compartment.
What’s the difference between black matter and Black Lives Matter?
Black matter leaves an impact.
I think God is cool with abortion.
After all, he did kill his only son.
Why do orphans enjoy playing tennis?
It's the only way they’ll get love.
What did Hitler get for his birthday?
A G.I. Jew and an Easy Bake Oven.
A rapist, pedophile, and a priest walk into a bar. He orders a beer.
Same person.
My grandma asked me if I could visit her.
I told her no, I don’t like graveyards.
Your hairline is like the economy, it's going down.
My girlfriend gave me the best blowjobs, then she grew teeth.
What does a cannibal do after eating its vegetables?
Sells the wheelchair.
Why were the Twin Towers angry on 9/11?
Because they ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got instead was plane.
What does a depressed kid who loves geometry use to kill themself?
A hypoteNUSE!
What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in a bathtub?
Throw them some laundry.
I can’t watch anime anymore when my friend’s grandpa is in the house.
He hasn’t heard a Japanese person scream since the war.
Why is the bottom of the sea so dark?
Because Black people can’t swim.