Worst Jokes Ever
Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff?
Yea, they found her “head and shoulders“ on the backseat of her car.
How do you know when it’s bedtime at Michael Jackson’s house?
The big hand is on the little hand!
What is a homeless person's favorite joke?... Themselves.
Roses are red, the grass is greener,
Every time I think of you, I play with my weenie.
One day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa smoking his cigarettes. Little Johnny asked, "Grandpa, can I smoke some of your cigarettes?" His grandpa replied, "Can your penis reach your asshole?" "No," said Little Johnny. His grandpa replied, "Then you're not old enough."
The next day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa drinking beer. He asked, "Grandpa, can I drink some of your beer?" His grandpa replied, "Can your penis reach your asshole?" "No" said Little Johhny. "Then you're not old enough," his grandpa replied.
The next day, Little Johnny was eating cookies. His grandpa asked, "Can I have some of your cookies?" Little Johnny replied, "Can your penis reach your asshole?" His grandpa replied, "It most certainly can!" Little Johnny replied, "Then go fuck yourself."
What's the difference between a midget and a tall person? Only one of them can ride the rides.
Billy: "I'm so used to having you in bed with me, I don't know if I'm ready for this long-distance relationship."
Sally: "Ohh, don't worry brother, I'll just be right down the hall..."
Sister: (moaning) Go get Mom, she'd love this!
Me: But Billy's with her right now.
Billy: UGHHHH...MMMMM
Dad: Hurry up Billy, I want to see you for a moment.
Down syndrome kid: Stop being greedy with the Legos! Me: Stop being greedy with the chromosomes!
"_____ abortion clinic, you rape it, we scrape it.
_____ sperm bank, you spank it, we bank it."
Why does Trump build a wall?
There’s such a thing as a ladder.
Do you know what my favorite time of day is?
6:30, hands down.
A bartender says, “We don’t serve time travelers in here!”
A time traveler walks into a bar.
If you ever get mad, just hit an orphan.
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Bully... you're such an asshole. Me... Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger.
Friend: Do you think she likes me?
Me: Yah.
Friend: Really😀😀😀?
Me: Hell no.
Friend: 😥😓😫😭😭😭😭😭😭 You did not have to be so honest.
You're so fat, Thanos had to snap three times to destroy you.
Friend, you so faaaat.
Me: Boy, at least I'm not built like a Nintendo Switch.
Friend: "You are so ugly." Me: "You can't be talking, you give Freddy Krueger nightmares."
Boi, you're the reason the Great Wall of China is a thing. You're so ugly the Chinese needed to block you out!