Worst Jokes Ever
Hey everyone, I'm back because I'm sinking back towards depression because my sister is really being a bitch, and my parents always side with her, and the stress over online school is just getting overwhelming, and I'm seriously considering hanging myself to end it all because the pain is just... terrible, and I feel like I'm not worth life.
How did the man in prison escape?
He drew a bum on the wall and slid through the crack.
What what's the cloud private place to go? Among us, cows.
Hello, are you there?
Yes, who are you?
My name is Watt.
What’s your name?
Watt’s my name.
Yes, what is your name?
My name is John Watt.
John What?
Yes, are you Jones?
No, I’m Knott.
Will you tell me your name?
Will Knott.
Why not?
My name is Knott.
Not what?
Not Watt, Knott!
*hangs up*
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
Why is the koala not a bear?
It doesn't have the right koalafications.
There's something on your chin... no, the 3rd one.
I took my mother-in-law out today...
I love being a sniper.
My girlfriend got ran over by a bus. I lost my job as a bus driver.
I am sooooooo bored, Gwen, can you please get on, or anybody, since I'm weirdly obsessed with Gwen.
Once upon a time, Bob was in his hospital bed receiving medical treatment soon after finding out he had cancer. One day, his friend Jeremy decided to visit Bob and told him this very inspiring sentence: "Sometimes in life, you and your heart will climb peaking mountains, and cross low valleys."
Little did Bob know that Jeremy was talking about his heart monitor.
Once upon a time, Bob was in his hospital bed, receiving medical treatment not that far after finding out he had cancer. One day, his friend Jeremy decided to visit him. Jeremy told his best buddy this very inspiring sentence: "Sometimes in life, you and your heart will climb tall peaking mountains, and low flat valleys, and all after that we'll be happy forever in heaven, eventually." Little did Bob know that Jeremy was talking about his heart monitor.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To find their parents.
I know I've changed my name from tj to selfish king but know it's gunna be selfishking#781.
What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians? One hundred people who don't do dick.
Why did LazarBeam kiss a man?
Because he couldn't kiss Fresh; he was already gay.
For Sale: Parachute. Used once, never opened, small stain.
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer.
I saw it through my telescope last night.
VOTING FINAL This vote is for the best School Shooter joke of the month.
LIKE: When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid’s sketchers light up.
DISLIKE: When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.
Vote for the better joke and the Joke of the Month will be announced in the comments tomorrow.
Teacher tests Little Johnny, “OK, Johnny, create a sentence which starts with ‘I’.”
Little Johnny confidently starts, “I is...”
Teacher snaps, “No, Little Johnny. You must always say, ‘I am’.”
Little Johnny sighs, “Yes ma’am. ‘I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.’”