Worst Jokes Ever

Where did my rabbit go?

*crunch*

What is a threesome?

1 + 1 = 3

Ok, I found this off of an internet meme, this isn't original:

*grabbing kid* Harambe: Ok kid, I don't have much time, but Obama's last name is- *gunshot*

Quiet kid: "I'm home!"

Parents: "What did you learn at school today?"

Quiet kid: "I've learned that I've had enough!"

When I was 8, my sister was half my age. I am 60 now, how old is my sister?

Comments: 30! Give me an easier question next time!

I must have at least 87 years of bad luck; every time I look in the mirror, it breaks!

Billy: Dad, I was shot by a sniper!

Dad: Uh...

*hides his rifle*

Dad: Ok kids, this selfie will just be me! *screen cracks*

Man: Hey Siri!

Siri: Yes?

Man: I'm desperate, will you marry me?

Siri: Uh...

*phone literally explodes*

I looked in the mirror yesterday. I still have nightmares...

Have you ever been accused of a crime you didn't commit? Well, I have! I was wrongfully accused of larceny yesterday. I'm not smart enough for that, I just stole some stuff.

Today was a bittersweet day...

Bad news is my friend was assaulted. Good news is I successfully sneak attacked someone!

Today was the worst day ever! My brother got run over, and I lost my driver's license!

Last night I had the strangest dream!

I sailed away to China!

And I caught the coronavirus!

You said you needed to wash your hands!

Didn't want no one else to touch you! What does that mean?!

And you said!!

Ain't nothing gonna break my lungs 😤!

Ain't no way of slowing Covid down!

Oh no I've got to keep on coughing!!!

Comment on this if you are somewhat like me: depressed, single, gay, and act like you're not burning inside.

Yo mama so dumb, she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept!

You know what I hate about rape?

Keeping it a secret.

It's not rape if you're both crying.

I called the rape advice line last night. Turns out it's just for victims.

Which is redder: a baby or a red car? It depends on how the baby was killed!