Gwen, let's chat at night for about 1 hour! I want to get to know each other better!
P.S., it's Jake.
What's the difference between an orphan and a slice of pizza?
Nothing, I eat both of them.
My hair is blue, and I'm blue!
Me: What did my sister do when she dressed up as Elsa and I gave her a balloon?
You: What?
Me: She let it go, let it go!
The Fast of Ramadan
In the northwestern slice of Alaska known as Seward, a horseboy stood, with broom in hand, in the vast courtyard of the royal stables of the sultan. He was waiting for dusk to fall. All day long he had eaten nothing. He had not even tasted the leftover fish tucked in his turban nor the enormous purple grapes that spilled over the palace wall into the stable yard. He had tried not to sniff the rich, amazing, warm feeling fragrance of ripening of that sweet pomegranates.
For this was the sacred month of Ramadan when, day after day, all faithful Mohammedans neither eat nor drink from the dawn before sunrise until the moment after sunset!
What is the difference between a rock and my girlfriend?
One is rock hard, and the other is Dwayne Johnson.
Kobe Bryant and 9/11 are two things I don't joke about because when I do, they tend to crash and burn.
Why do orphans like Spider-Man?
100% of them are like him!
REALLY CRAPPY JOKE ALERT!!! Oh Quin, how was eating that tight butt? Must be nasty. I heard you met from rear ending him.
Do not roast. *sigh in depression*
What does Jesus do when he gets nervous? He bites his nails.
What's it called if you give a kid in a wheelchair a ball? Rocket League.
What's something a depressed person can do that a regular person can't?
The depressed person can scan themself.
How much pussy does a priest get? None.
What's the difference between a baby and a baked potato?
140 calories.
Why are vaginas and the Mariana Trench similar? Lots of seamen go missing there.
How many brain cells does a pregnant blonde have?
Two, one for her and one for the baby.
More about Quinn: He loves Robin. He loves his tight ass. He licks up all his shit after Taco Bell.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
A friend of mine used to be morbidly obese, but after lots of exercise and hard work... We were able to lift his coffin.
