Worst Jokes Ever
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple actually got picked.
I wish Stephen Hawking was an organ donor. I need some parts for my laptop.
Stop being disrespectful to all those people and their parents. Oh, I forgot, they don't have any parents.
What's the difference between roast chicken and pea soup?
You can roast chicken.
Pass me the sugar, Sugar!
Pass me the honey, Honey!
Pass me the teabag!
"Get off your computer, Jessie Jex."
You're so ugly that when you walk past the toilet, it flushes itself.
Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe, just maybe you'll find a brain back there!
What is an Emo's favorite game? Hangman!
What does the M and D in "orphan" stand for?
"Mum" and "Dad."
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking during a house fire.
What is the worst motivational thing to say to a suicidal person?
"If at first you don’t succeed, try again and again until you succeed."
You're built like a double cheeseburger.
My grandma just died from cancer.
My last words to her were “I like your cut, G.”
What was Michael Jackson's favorite song?
"Touch Me (I Want Your Body)."
A guy walks into a restaurant and orders turtle soup. The waiter hollers, "One turtle soup!"
A moment later, the guy calls the waiter over and says, "I’ve changed my mind, I would like pea soup." The waiter hollers, "Hold the turtle, and make it pea!"
I tried to high five a tree, but it just left me hanging.
Why do Asians abandon their children?
They're bad at math.