Worst Jokes Ever

Me being raped is like my birth certificate; it doesn't expire.

If I was a raped victim, would silence be the best medicine?

What did the mother say to Michael J. on the beach?

"Excuse me sir, but you're in my son!"

If reincarnation is correct, if you die now, you can be reborn and live a second life. If you were born in Ukraine, you can immediately live a third life.

My fitness guru said that if I got raped, it would help me in future marathons.

There's gonna be 8 planets right after I destroy Uranus.

Why do orphans hate baseball so much?

Because they can't run home.

What do you call an emo kid standing outside the mall?

Anything, he'll cry no matter what you say.

"Rape[is] the only sign of world peace in this life."

Why did a woman believe she was a target? She had a price tag without any value to it.

Why are cheetahs bad at running away? They always get spotted.

Hey any riding with Biden fans out there?

I ran out of gas and could really use a ride so if one of ya'll can call me and pick me up that'd be great and I can't get gas because I only have 20 bucks which is like 1-5 and a half, help me please.

Why do orphans play with other kids on a playground?

So they will sneak into their parents' car to be a brother or sister.

Are you a rope? Because I want to hang sometimes.

What do you call a flat-chested emo girl?

A cutting board.

You call it suicide. I call it a failed parkour attempt.

What were the candles doing at a birthday party?

Getting lit.

What was the score to the African basketball game? It was 8-0.

When you throw your peanut butter sandwich at the nut allergy table: 25+ kill streak!

Yesterday I asked an emo girl if she's jealous when her phone dies.