What's the difference between a God and my mom?
My mom exists. I mean... she did at one point! Unlike any "Gods."
Worst Jokes Ever
M to de B, m to de B = master bate.
So, Biden, Zelensky, and Putin are on a plane, and the plane loses altitude and goes down, but there are 2 parachutes. Putin takes the first one and jumps because he is a greedy twat. So he jumps, but then Biden says, "You go, Zelensky. I am much older than you, and it is ok for me to die." So Zelensky takes the second one and jumps, but when he did, the plane regains altitude, and Biden got to Washington, DC, all fine. They found out the reason was Zelensky's steel balls.
Girl: Dad, where are you?
Dad: I went to go get milk.
Girl: But we have milk.
Dad: I know, I just don't love you.
What are the four letters you don’t want to hear from a dentist?
I C D K
I can make a word with those: "DICK".
When did Jesus die?
On Luan Day hahahahahahahahahahahahaha LOUD HOUSE wink wink.
What happens if a boy bumps into a dog?
It’s a bumper team.
- I work with animals.
- Great! What job?
- A butcher.
I saw a kid in a wheelchair, and he was getting bullied. I said, "Stand up for yourself!"
In my mother's generation, they grew up with Wonder Woman. In ours, we have to wonder if she's a woman.
What did Grant say? "I'm gay."
Why do pedophiles come in last place for every race... because they are always in the back (if you know what I mean)?
The only thing brighter than my future is the fire on the World Trade Center.
It's too long, sorry. >:)
Why does Batman only wear black?
Because he's emo!
What do you call a dipshit?
A Charlie.
What does the woman say to the cannibal at the fashion show?
"Who are you wearing?"
What is an orphan's least liked meal? Family dinner.
Dad: Honey!
Mom: What?
Dad: All of the broken condoms are on the bed.
Mom: WHAT!?
Children: *staring*
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Smell mop.
Smell mop who?
