Worst Jokes Ever
Why can't Oregon go to the doctor?
Because they need parents' signature.
Q: What do the mob and pussy have in common?
A: One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit.
Q: What do you call a blonde with only two brain cells?
A: Pregnant.
Why is the cheetah super good at hide and seek tag? Because he was too fast!
What are the similarities between BTC and 9/11? They both crashed down.
Your hairline got suspended, it's not coming back.
My girlfriend is growing watermelons, not in the ground though (we had fun that night)!
My grandma said, "Hey, you want a Butterfinger cause I do?"
Me: Grandpa's in the kitchen if you want a finger.
Why did the Titanic sink? Because your mom was on it.
You know, the strangest things happen. My mom said, "Step on a crack, you break your mama's back, but if you step on a line, you break your father's spine." I stepped on the line. It didn't break his spine. Mom, who is my father?
Why did the orphan try to get hurt?
Because then they would get surrounded with people who care about him.
He looks around, no one is there.
Ever seen twins?
If you said yes, was it before or after 2001?
I hope both sides of your pillow are warm tonight.
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture? You need only one nail to hang a picture.
Why did Queen Elizabeth the II die?
Because she ran out of immortali-tea.
What is a prostitute's favorite form of traffic control?
Speed humps.
"Love is a good thing, never be embarrassed by it."
My emo friend tried to hi-five a tree. It left him hanging.
My emo friend got jealous when my phone died.
What is a leaf mixed with mud called? Ligma.
Ligma balls!