Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call Stephen Hawking on a bungy jump?
Spasticelastic.
What do you call Stephen Hawking in a burning building?
Hot Wheels.
What is an orphan's hated movie line?
E.T. phone home.
What’s the difference between a dad and a boulder?
About 15 stone.
What’s the difference between a robber and an orphan?
One is wanted.
Man, that's funny!
I know your hairline's pretty bent, but your gender's on a different level.
Me before: Why do bandanas exist? They're ugly.
Me after seeing your hairline: Oh, I seeee.
Me giving pro tip: Get a bandana LMAO.
What's the difference between Wacko Jacko and Elvis Presley?
14 number 1 hits.
Why are people surprised by Johnny Depp having $30,000 wine bills, domestic violence accusations, rampant substance abuse, poor hygiene, and the looks of a predator?
He grew up a Florida Man, after all.
Ariana Grande agrees with me on something: women belong in the kitchen and bedroom.
Women should be allowed to choose: dishes or cooking first.
Women should have the right to choose whether they want to do cooking or cleaning first.
Why was the baby Dinosaur an orphan?
His family was blown up by meteors.
"My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104."
Why do so many people hate Bill Cosby? I mean, all he did was have affairs with drunk, attention-seeking women. They literally begged for it.
Why did the orphan commit a crime?
Because they wanted to be wanted!
What is the difference between an orphan and a mailman?
The mailman goes home at the end of the day.
What’s the best cure for not wanting to go to work?
Suicide.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal?
Their dad didn't come back with the milk.