Worst Jokes Ever

Died and came back sped. I call that rien-tardation.

Me: "Hey, get my joke on that timeline."

Her: "No."

After you read this post, you will forget you were gay.

I would make a joke about short people, but they probably couldn't hear it.

Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind, it's tear-able.

I was going to listen to a funny comment about abortion, but her joke was crap.

Yo mama so fat, she found the barrier to outer space!

Yo mama so scary that the monsters have to look under the bed for her.

Yo mama so ugly that the monsters thought that she was their mother.

Yo mama so fat, her belly enters the room 10 minutes before she does.

Paul Walker made a new wrap cover, it's called "Flying Through the Windshield," and the song's name is "Crossing the Street."

"2001 just called and they want their towers back."

You can only say "Kobe" now when you're playing flight simulator.

Don't ever tell somebody depressed to try again.

Yo mama was so fat that when she stepped on the scale the scale said: "You gained another pound, nice going fatso, a few more ounces and you can qualify for your own zip code!"

Yo mama was so fat that when she stepped on the scale, the scale said: "OOOWWWWW!!!! Get off me, you overweight bucket of lard."

The kid in the wheelchair was getting bullied, so I encouraged him to stand up for himself. I don't know why he started crying.

Why were the Twin Towers mad?

Because they ordered a pepperoni pizza but it came plain.

Why do women have small feet?

So they can stand closer to the sink.

What do you call a Pakie with a wooden leg?

Shit on a stick.

Why is Texas the worst state ever?

They only have one star.