My uncle is a horrible ventriloquist. He put his hand up my butt, but he told me NOT to say anything.
Roses are red, eggs come in a dozen, do I need to revive Hitler to teach you how to use a goddamn oven?
POV: Your grandma is on life support. I would unplug her life support to charge my third phone.
They say Trump got impeached, but he is an orange.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I thought someone else was ugly, but then I saw you.
When fat people sit down at a restaurant, and you listen closely, you can hear the chair screaming.
When fat people sit down at a restaurant, you can hear the chair screaming.
What does the + sign stand for in LGBTQ+?
It’s the premium version of gay.
I think fat people took the Hunger Games a little too seriously.
How did Teddy Roosevelt swing all the ladies?
He spoke softly and carried a big stick.
What did President Ford say when he met Betty?
"I am Gerald Ford and you’re hot."
My cousin just broke up with his girlfriend, and I told him, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of her stuff."
My cousin just broke up with her boyfriend, and I told her, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of his stuff."
Want my cookie? Come and get it... 😭
Fat people are the reason we have double doors.
What the fluff happened to this website?
What does the EPA issue when a person stinks up a room with their smelly farts?
Air quality alert code brown!
What bird is good at gaming? A game bird.
I will never forget the moment when my father saw me masturbating. He said, "Son, what are you doing? I'm on a video conference - get out of my office!"
There hasn’t been 3 months of peace in this country since 2019. Jesus, take the wheel.
