Worst Jokes Ever
I dated a lot of girls before I married my wife. I was living with one of them when I arrived home one day to find her bags packed and next to the door. I asked her, "Baby, what's going on?" She said, "I'm leaving you."
"But why?" I replied.
"Because you're a pedophile!" she answered.
"That's a pretty big word for a six-year-old," I said.
What do you call a man with a Johnny on his nose? Fuck nose.
How many white police officers does it take to push an African-American gentleman down the stairs?
Push?! He fell...
What's Osama bin Laden's favorite football team? New York Jets!!!
What’s one good thing about pedophiles?
They drive slow in school zones.
Old McDonald cuts himself. E-m E-m-O!
Which scary movie did the bear refuse to watch?
The Bear Witch Project.
What did John Jay Smith say about Michael Joseph Jackson's death? NOTHING.
What’s the worst thing about having a sister with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.
What do a plastic bag and Jeffery Epstein have in common?
They're both dangerous to children.
Q. What's the difference between an assassinated Healthcare CEO and Old Yeller?
A. I cried when they shot Old Yeller.
What does Michael Jackson say when he grabs his crotch? I never noticed that before.
What does Michael Jackson say when he gets hard? Ow!
What is Michael Jackson's favorite movie?
The Boy in the Plastic Bubble? Why? The boy who was in the bubble.
When did Michael say, "This is it"?
2009.
Why was Macaulay Culkin not bothered by Michael Joseph Jackson? He was left home alone.
Michael Jackson was the King of Pop until he got burned by Pepsi. Now, Pepsi is the hero, and now, we know the rest of the story.
What is one dream that Michael Joseph Jackson made come to life? He loved to say: "Somebody's watching me."
What's the difference between Michael Joseph Jackson and Mickey Mouse? Besides being a disease-carrying rodent, and one a dangerous pedophile, Mickey Mouse can still touch and go near kids.
Why does Michael Jackson like football, baseball, and tennis? Because of the "balls".