Worst Jokes Ever
A project manager, a mechanical engineer, and a computer scientist are on a road trip through the mountains. As they're going down a pass, the brakes suddenly fail. The car goes off the road and crashes down into the valley. A bit dazed, the three of them get out.
The project manager says, "Well, the best thing to do is to have a meeting and assess the situation."
The mechanical engineer replies, "Nonsense, I have my pocketknife, I'll fix the brakes with that."
Then the computer scientist comes along and says, "Why make it so complicated? Let's push the car back up the road, get in, and see if it happens again."
Why is an apple not called a "red", but an orange is called an "orange"?
There are three Mexicans in a car. Who's driving?
The cop!
Steve Jobs would've been a better president than Trump...
But I guess comparing apples to oranges is unfair.
Do you know why most men are impressive cooks?
Because with two eggs and a sausage, they can keep women full for 9 months.
Geowipp Grand Prize. And the CHOICE OF FOOD IS INSANE. We love him and we love him.
August is a guy from one of the shops, and we became a sundwich durk through Habin. We have GOT GO GO, IT WAS GRAT. That's why. But we don't do everything.
How do you piss off a feminist? You rape her.
Why do trannies suck at being soldiers? Because they have a 41% casualty rate.
Why do you need an AR-15?
So my son can use it if he's being bullied at school.
What do you call a kid with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
What kind of punch takes out 20 children and 8 adults? A Sandy Hook.
They didn't burn witches back in the day, they burned bitches.
What's the difference between a dead hooker and an onion?
I don't cry when I'm cutting up a dead hooker.
If Pete and Chasten Buttigieg had a baby, it would be a turd covered in semen.
Why do lesbians go to Sports Authority?
Because they don't like Dick's!
What does a gay guy and an ambulance have in common?
They both get loaded from the rear and go...woo woo woo.
Did you know there's a brand of coffee specifically for pedophiles?
It's called the Ep-bean.
If Fascism got popularized by autistics, the trains would have run on time.
What did Scorpion say to the ugly person?
"STAY OVER THERE!"
One day, a cop pulls a van over, and when he walks up to the window, he sees ten penguins in the back.
The cop asks the man, “Are those your penguins?”
The man says, “Yes, they are my pets.”
The cop replies to the man, “You need to take them to the zoo right now.”
So the man agrees and drives off. The next day, the cop pulls over the same van, and he walks up to the window and sees the ten penguins all wearing sunglasses.
The cop says to the man, “I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo.”
The man says, “I did! Today, we are going to the beach!”