Worst Jokes Ever

Q: What did the AISH worker say after her throat was slashed?

A: Ckkkkkk

Trump wants people to think he's a great golfer. But the only handicap he has is a mental one.

I used to think all Americans were racist.

Now I've changed my mind. They DID elect an orange president.

Here in Canada, you used to be able to be shipped off to an asylum just because you were gay.

I guess they couldn't tell the fruits from the nuts.

My cousin is a surgeon.

Last year he botched a surgery he was doing on a patient who happened to be gay. He's being sued for malpractice for turning a fruit into a vegetable.

What made you suddenly lose interest in someone you were pursuing?

When I found out they liked me back. Not interested in someone with poor judgment.

Q. What's the difference between Trump and a piece of shit? A. Shit isn't orange.

In light of Trump's slurring, staggering, and incoherence, I wondered if he should get checked for a brain tumor.

Then I realized how ridiculous that sounded.

A tumor can't grow in something that doesn't exist in the first place.

I used to be emo, but I don't cut myself to solve my problems anymore.

I just drink a bunch of liquor like an adult.

Why do Black people dip their Oreos in water?

Because daddy never came back home with the milk.

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My history teacher asked my class what time they would go back to just to see what happened.

I said I'd go back to Hitler's childhood to tell him the lies that he becomes the ruler of the world by starting the Nazis, and leave his death out of the discussion.

My dad told me he only drinks on days that start with a "T":

Tuesday, Thursday, today, tomorrow.

I should probably stop making abortion jokes.

After all, the aborted babies aren't laughing.

Pierre Poilievre has lost the government position he had for 20 years.

Bet he wishes his mom HAD used that coat hanger.

I recently learned that it's politically incorrect to talk about taking part in a school shooting.

Apparently the term "school photos" is more acceptable.

Why is the Z the only politically correct letter?

Because all the other letters are not Z's.

A little known rule: You cannot be circumcised if you are running for political office in the US.

You need to be a complete dick.

Alberta Premier Danielle Smith is in hot water for importing $49 million worth of Tylenol that medical facilities couldn't even use.

I have a few suggestions about what she can do with all that Tylenol.

Prostitution. The only job that pays more if you suck.