Name jokes
Doctor: Do you want the good news or the bad news first?
Patient: Good news!
Doctor: We are naming a disease after you.
A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a coma. After 6 months, she woke up. She asked the doctor, "How's the baby?"
"You had twins," the doctor replied. "Your brother named them."
The woman said, "Oh no, not my brother! What did he call them?"
The doctor said, "He called the girl Denise."
"What about the boy?" the woman asked.
The doctor said, "Denephew."
What do you say when you hear someone tripping over at night?
Goddammit, Jamal!
I guess you can say he xxxpired.
Have you ever heard of Jane Doe? Well, her husband's name is Dill, so I guess that makes him a dildo!
I met a man named Jebidiah on Xbox Live.
Q: What's 1+1? 2+2? 4+4? 8+8? Name a vegetable.
A: Carrot 🥕
Q: What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in front of a door?
A: Mat.
Ever absorb Griffin?
Brady Quinn!!
Son: Hey dad, why is my name Canada?
Dad: Because you were made there.
Mum: We haven't been to Canada.
Dad: Hol' up a minute.
Evan
What did the father bullet say to the baby bullet when he killed a bull by hitting it in the eye: "Bull's eye!"
I love Stephen Hawking jokes so much because they roll off the tongue so nicely.
Jig, Jill, Bill ate a pill.
John
My friend Nickiya wanted to know what animal she'd be. I said that she would be a "Ni-cat-a."
Germans be like, “Guten Morgan.”
Bitch, that's not my name.
Girls with the name Carley have the biggest forehead on the earth, I mean, moon.
What is the real name of Canada?
Punjabistan
I got caught doing donuts in the parking lot, and I know what y'all are thinking.
Who names their dog Donuts?