Name jokes
"Hey, what's the Russian president's name?" "Putin?" "Yeah, Putin deez nuts in yo mouth!"
How can you make a woman scream your name when you have sex with her?
Change your name to "Rape."
Three nuns die in a car crash, but they all make it to heaven. They're standing at the pearly gates, and Saint Peter says to them, "Don't worry, you're going to get in, but first I need you to answer these questions."
He asks the first nun, "What was the name of the first woman?" The nun says, "Eve." Saint Peter says, "Go on in."
Then he asks the second nun, "Where did Adam and Eve live?" The second one says, "The Garden of Eden." Saint Peter says, "You can go through."
Finally, he gets to the third nun and says, "What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?" The nun stands there a little confused and says, "Boy, that's a hard one." Saint Peter, shocked, goes, "That's correct! Go on in."
This is how big cats were named.
"I HATE BIG CATS. THAT ONE IS A LIAR, THAT ONE IS A CHEATER. THE ONE IS A POO-MA."
"Lion. Cheetah. Puma. You're getting a promotion."
What do you call a deaf and blind axe murderer?
Helen Killer.
I saw names carved into a tree and thought it was romantic. Until I realized how many people bring knives on dates.
On Halloween you better hide your candy, or else there will be a fella named Big Dick Randy.
Q: What do you call a Chinese billionaire?
A: Cha-Ching!
I’m going to open my own Mexican restaurant and call it boarder patrol.
A kid named Timmy said to his dad that he had sex with his teacher, and his dad was proud of him and gave him a bike.
The kid said, "I can't use it; my butt hurts!"
I hope you remembered my name since you’ll be screaming it later.
His name is Donald, but he looks like Goofy.
A little riddle...
Trump has it short, Kennedy has it long, the Pope has it but he doesn't use it, what is it?
...
Obviously the Surname, what are you thinking about you pervert?
My first name is Al and my last name is Coholic :) #yuengling.f/wat
What's Moby Dick's dad's name? Papa Boner.
My friend showed me his broken finger, and I said, "JESUS!" He said his name is Jake.
What do you call a kid named Caitlyn?
My best friend.
I have a little John.
What’s the name of the band in the gay bar?
A: Beers for Queers.
What do you call a smart pig?
A Swinestein.