Name jokes
Hi! This is a good prank I did! Okay, my sister has this crush and his name is Braylon. So, he texted my sister saying he wants to hang out with her, which I think means date. So anyway, I did this. My text said, "Hi Braylon, I can't hang out today... or the other day because I have homework, so please no hang out!" This is super wrong, but funny! Braylon texted back and said, "Fine, I can help." And I texted back and said, "Oh, will come here around 10:00." And my sister did not know he was coming... She was so embarrassed, she was still in her nightgown! HAHAHAH. O to the k, bye, that's the prankster!!!!
There were two guys in an asylum. One was named Kenny, and the other was Bob. The nurse went down the hall and saw Kenny acting like he was packing his bags. The nurse said, “What are you doin', Kenny?” Kenny said, “Going to Florida for the week.” The nurse said, “Alright, see ya when you get back.”
Next day, the nurse went down the hall again and saw Kenny lying down acting like he was holding a wine glass. The nurse said, “What are you doing, Kenny?” Kenny said, “I am at the beach.” The nurse said, “Oh, I forgot you're in Florida for the week, see ya when you get back.” Bob's room was across the hall. The nurse went further down the hall and saw Bob on his bed jerking off. The nurse said, “Goddamnit, Bob, what are you doing?” Bob said, “Shhh, I am fucking Kenny's wife right now, he is in Florida for the week.”
Q: What do Mexicans love to wear in the air force?
A: Air Force Juans.
What is the name of a show for kids?
Barney.
Hi. I am Joe.
Memes
What is another name for a serial rapist? Short dress enthusiast.
Doctor: Do you want the good news or the bad news first?
Patient: Good news!
Doctor: We are naming a disease after you.
If it’s called the “living room,” why did my grandma die there?
Anybody know a girl named Candice? She just added me on snap.
Q: What do you call a Mexican that lost his car?
A: Carlos.
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don’t find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.
I wish my name was Voyager 2...
So I could have the first encounter with Uranus. :)
Warner Brothers have made a new Superman movie with Superman being black.
This new Superman's nickname is the "Man of Steel" but it's spelled s-t-e-a-l.
Me: Hey, how are you?
Depression: I'm doing fine. We are just looking for a home :3
Insomnia: Mommy, can we get a home?
Anxiety: Insomnia, wait for mommy to finish.
Depression: Anyway, here is my resume!
Me: Okie, thank you. Ok... mhmmm... WOW! Okie, this is a nice resume! (Didn't Read it...)
Depression: Also, I have two more friends that want to move in too!
Me: Ok, and their names?
Depression: Their names are: PTSD and Trauma!
Me: Ok, they seem fine (Doesn't know about them)
Depression: Okie, here is the money (a penny :(). Thank you, we will call you if we need anything.
Me: Ok, see you soon! :3
Me now hates my life. :)
Q: What do you call a Mexican man that lost his car?
A: Carlos.
What did the Asian people name their retarded son?
Sum Ting Wong.
What do you call an Irish man that breaks up fights?
Liam Malone.
I lost my dog. I probably shouldn't have named him "rape."
I got caught doing donuts in the parking lot, and I know what y'all are thinking.
Who names their dog Donuts?
"Hey, what's the Russian president's name?" "Putin?" "Yeah, Putin deez nuts in yo mouth!"