Name jokes

Jonah Oglan.

What do you call a dog with no legs? Call him whatever you want, he's not coming.

I know an orphan named Zara, and he has never had homemade food.

What did the Mexican firefighter name his two sons?

Jose and Hose B.

My friend Richard is always bullying all the little kids in the neighborhood. He is such a dick.

What do you call it when Panera Bread goes to space?

Good question.

What do you call a person whose heart stopped?

Dead.

I named my dog Syndrome, so when he sits on my couch I say, “Get down, Syndrome!”

So guys, I have a friend who is named Sarah, and I was riding bikes with her the other day, and she told me she is gay. I totally support her. I love that she is open about it and not scared to tell people about it. I hope you guys can support her too! I love you all! :)))

What do you call it when a man named Ned works at Panera Bread?

Panera Ned.

I'm on a roll with my jokes, right now!

Mike Oxlong.

Tyler is ugly.

If you are called Tyler, change your name.

You will never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace.

Why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide?

Well, I wouldn't want to be named "asdjasdjasdak" either.

An unfortunate accident happened at the Nestlè factory. A man named Joe was seriously injured because a box of chocolates fell on him. Every time he said, "The chocolates are on me!" everyone cheered.

What did the rapper name his new DOG?

Lil Bark.

A boy was terrible at writing sentences, so his teacher gave him an assignment to help with that. The boy was to go home, write five sentences, and return to school the next day.

When he went home, he took a notepad and a pen and went to his dad for help. His dad was in a very important business call, so he angrily shouted at the child, "Shut up, you donkey!" The boy noted down that sentence. He next went to his mom, who assumed that he wanted to play video games, so she said, "No, my dear, tomorrow." That was his second sentence. For the third sentence, he went to his older brother, who was watching football where someone scored a goal, so he was jumping up and down yelling, "Goal! Goal!"

For the fourth sentence, he went to his sister, who was singing, "Spider-Man, Spider-Man!" For the last sentence, he went to his grandmother, who was cleaning the toilet and singing, "Under the toilet, under the toilet."

He went to school the next day, and his teacher asked him to tell her the sentences. The boy said, "Shut up, you donkey!" The teacher got angry after hearing this and asked the boy, "Do you want me to slap you?" The boy said, "No, my dear, tomorrow." This made the teacher so angry that she slapped the boy. Immediately, he started jumping up and down yelling, "Goal! Goal!" The teacher dragged him to the principal's office, as she was fed up with him. The principal asked the boy what his name was, to which he replied by singing, "Spider-Man, Spider-Man!" She asked him where he lived, so he sang, "Under the toilet, under the toilet."

My parents came back from their vacation in Florida, and all I got is this lousy nursemaid from Miami named mammie.

How do Chinese people name their baby? They throw pots down the stairs: bing bong ching chong.

What was the guy with no arms, legs, or a head name?

Matt.