Name jokes
What do you call a crippled man? Alex keating hahahahahahahahahahahh!
What do you call Yakub with no eyes?
No eyes Yakub.
Mary Rose sat on a pin. Mary Rose!
What do James Doyle and Hannah Doyle have in common?
John fucked them both in the rear.
Ever absorb Griffin?
Brady Quinn!!
Banker: I have the right to take your money!
Me: Check my name.
Banker: Robin D. Bank, why?
Banker: *realizes*
Me: 😈🖐️ Gimme, gimme.
What do you call a surprised Chinese man?
Answer: Ho Lee Fuk.
When I was going downstairs, Sum Ting Wong fell, and doctors say Sum Ting Wong happened.
What do you call a basketball player with erectile dysfunction?
Tragic Johnson.
Friend: Name one gay person off the top of your head.
Me: Me.
What [is] another name for an abortion?
Canceling your delivery.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Fuck.
Fuck who?
Fuck off!
What do you call a Mexican that has lost his car?
Carlos!
I like dicks... sporting goods.
A man had moved to a new country with his dog and with basic understanding of the language. One day he heard people talking about a place for dogs, so he took his dog there, telling them he wanted his dog to be groomed.
The man behind the counter responded with "yes happy dog, come back in little hours." So the man left and came back a couple hours later. When he asked about his dog, he was given a box of jerky. He found out "Happy Dog" was the name of the place where dogs become food.
One day, inexplicably, my talking parrot started insulting me. He called me an idiot, a fool, a jerk, stupid, and a variety of other nasty names. I warned the squawker to cease, but to no avian avail. Fed up, I finally flipped the foul-mouthed feather-brain into the freezer...but after about 15 seconds, I relented and let him out.
"I'm so sorry," he declared! "I don't know what came over me, and realize I shouldn't have said those terrible things. I hope you can forgive me, and I promise never to do it again! By the way...what did the chicken do?" 🐔😂
Imagine if you were an Arabic person shopping at Walmart with your son.
Now imagine he got lost and you had to start calling out his name.
...Now imagine his name is "Allahu Akbar."
What do you call an Indian babysitter?
Nanny.
Vladimir Putin is probably a homophobe because he has to go through life with the name of a gay porn star.
My name is Giselle.