Name

Name jokes

Dog

What do you call a dog with no legs? Call him whatever you want, he's not coming.

Michael Jackson

What kind of club is every parent afraid of their kid joining?

The Mikey Jackson club.

How do you spell the name of the most dangerous pedophile?

M-I-C-H-A-E-L J-O-S-E-P-H J-A-C-K-S-O-N

Nickname

I started a new job. My boss said, "Hi, my name is Rebecca, but people call me Becky." I said, "My name is Kyle, but people call me Dick."

She said, "How do you get Dick from Kyle?" I replied, "You just ask nicely."

Hater

This is to the girl/boy named Gwen: Are you okay? I see there is a bunch of haters but DON'T, I repeat, DON'T let the haters get to you. I hope you see this and respond and that you are okay. Please Gwen, be honest.

Memes

Puppy

Name: Ace/ Age: 6 weeks/ Breed: Pitbull mix Mastiff/ Like if he is cutee

A brown and white puppy, sitting on a patterned blanket. Text on the image: "Name: Ace/ Age: 6 weeks/ Breed: Pitbull mix Mastiff/ Like if he is cutee"

Girl

A girl named Sally has no arms.

"KNOCK KNOCK"

She never answered...

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  • Dog

    What do you call a dog with no legs?

    Doesn't matter what you call him, he ain't comin'.

    Cat

    Simplest way to tell if dogs are better than cats: My dog is named Curiosity, and your cat is dead.

    Rat

    There's a kid named Little Johnny who would always cuss. Well, one day, he was sitting in class and the teacher said, "Let's play a game." So the game was she calls out a letter and someone raises her hand and tells her a word that begins with that letter. The teacher says "A". Little Johnny raises his hand and the teacher thinks to herself, "Well, he might say something like a**." So the teacher calls on Sally. Sally says "apple". The teacher says "B". Little Johnny raises his hand. The teacher thought, "No, he might say something like b!tch." So the teacher goes all the way to R. The teacher says "R". Little Johnny raises his hand and says, "Me, me, please, I really know one." Then the teacher thinks to herself, "Well, there's no cuss word that starts with R," so she said, "Okay, Johnny, give me a word that starts with R." Little Johnny says, "A rat!" and the teacher, very pleased, says, "Very good, Johnny. What type of rat?" Little Johnny says, "A big gosh damn mother freaker."

    Sorry, I had to edit some word, but y'all know what I meant.

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  • Sister

    If you have a twin sister, do you have the same name? Only if your mom and dad give you the same name.

    Mouse

    What do you call a mouse that doesn't like being known about?

    Anonymouse.

    Car

    What was the name of the Mexican that lost his car?

    Carlos.