Mystery

Mystery Jokes

Wallet

Mom: Hey hun, need some money for lunch at school?

Son: No, I got 1k already.

Mom: Wait, what, how?

Son: Mom's wallet is magic.

Potato

Why do potatoes make good detectives?

Because they keep their eyes peeled!

Basement

My builder was extending my basement when he questioned me because he found three dead kids in a corner tied together.

Grandpa

My grandpa's last words were, "Why is there a body in my kitchen?"

No witnesses.

Bark

Riddles not jokes.

What has 4 legs but cannot walk?

What has bark but no bite?

There's a one-story house in which everything is orange. Orange walls, orange doors, orange furniture. What color are the stairs?

What has holes but can carry water?

What is in front of you, but cannot be seen?

What is something you have inside you that is pink, but cannot be seen?

What can you catch but not throw?

And last one:

What can rule, but not command?

Tell me the answers in the comments.

Like 90% of this was from this link: https://parade.com/947956/parade/riddles/

One more thing: Don't google it or search it up, use your brain to answer these.

Treasure

One day, two friends found a treasure map. So they decided to try to find the treasure.

After several hours they found the treasure. It was a suit that gives the person wearing it super strength. One of the friends wore the suit and hugged the other friend. They were both red.

Diss track

It was 2017, and lots of people were hating RiceGum because he released "Frick Da Police," a diss track insulting Idubbbz's Content Cop video on RiceGum.

A few hours after the diss track was released, someone went to Rice's house and spray painted "Asian Jake Paul" on the wall of the front of his house.

Rice went to "meet" Idubbbz, then he saw the graffiti.

"WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEREEEEEEEEEEEEEE?"

Hours later, police found 4 suspects.

"Explain."

Sus 1: I don't vandalize.

Sus 2: I was staying indoors because it was rainy.

Sus 3: I fucking hate RiceGum, but I would not ruin his cheap ass house lol.

Sus 4: I eat bricks.

Police: I know who.

RiceGum: Who?

Police: ITS-

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Notice anything in the number crowd?

Comment the answer below and I will see who is correct.

Face

"He scratched his face up, detective. That did it."

"Did I do that?"

Paedophile

How does a paedophile know if he's good at sex?

It'll forever be a mystery because the victims [are] too young to scream his name.

Squirrel

How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two, but how they got in there's the real mystery!

Hello

When did “yo” mean Hello?

They are so different, how did they come to mean the same thing? Did someone just walk up and accidentally say “llo” instead of hello and people were just like “what did you say?” and the man being embarrassed just made up a story and say “oh, I said yo, which means hello in my original language."

Alien

An alien goes to Area 51, but I wonder why he doesn't go to your house?

Bullying

Someone kills an emotionally weak person by hard words and bullying.

No one will suspect the killer was anyone who took part.

Bike

What’s pink, rusty, and covered in cobwebs?

Madeline McCann's bike.

Address

Do you know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Do you know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane?

Yes, I know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Yes, I know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane.

Bigfoot

So, I was walking down the path of my life with Bigfoot, noticing the two pairs of footprints, mine and his.

One day, I notice his prints are gone. I look up to him and say, "You had promised you would always be there for me. How is this possible?"

He then looks me straight in the eyes and says, "Raw!"