Mourning jokes

A woman marries a man and has 7 children. The husband dies, and she marries another man. She has another 7 children, and later the husband dies. A year later she gets married again, and has another 7 children. She dies after a few months.

At the funeral, a man sees the priest looking at the heavens. He walks over and hears the man say, "They're finally together again." The man looks at the priest and says, "With her husband?" The priest looks at the man and says, "No, her legs."

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Your dad.

But my dad's dead.

I know, just reminding you!

Like this if you have ever had a family member die.

Why don’t coffins have Wi-Fi?

Because they don’t want people to be so ‘connected’ while they’re trying to rest in peace.

I was in a toxic relationship. After some time, my girlfriend died. Her name was Happy. Still got no clue of her body, and here I am lying on the bed so fucking happy.

"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing, except at a funeral.

What is the worst thing to do at a funeral?

The corpse.

My friend had one request for me before he committed suicide, and that was to play Van Halen’s “Jump” at his funeral.

At my funeral, take the bouquet off the coffin and throw it into the crowd to see who's next.

Imagine when you are about to cry at the funeral, then your friend's phone rings.

Then he says, "I'll call you back, I'm still at the die."

When you're at a funeral and you laugh at the body... everyone stares, and one person said, "Isn't that your mom...?"

Rip Juice WRLD.

A cemetery should be built next to orphanages, so the orphans can see their parents.

I heard this was a really popular funeral home. People are dying to get in.

So I went to my friend's funeral today. As we were all leaving, a kid put a "get well soon" card next to my friend's grave. 'Poor kid'.

I wanted to do something nice for my uncle, so I cleaned out the nice vase that was given at grandma's funeral. It had so much sand, I'm glad to help.

I got LEGOs for Christmas, and my friend got her father's headstone.

My relatives always teased me during weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"

But they stopped when I did the same to them during funerals.

Don’t cry when you attend my funeral, I was dead long ago so why cry now?